Going Against the Flow

"Fifteen hours!!  I can't remember the last time I was ever stuck in a seat for fifteen hours...."  I muttered with dread as I struggled to put on my running tights.  No, I wasn't planning to go out for a run.  I donned the pair of shiny skin-hugging Spandex tights to make sure that my legs wouldn't swell up during the torturous flight to Taiwan the Monday after Thanksgiving, a necessary journey as my mother was scheduled to have major surgery there later that week.  I had been to Taiwan several times over the past years, but I recalled that the non-stop flights used to be considerably shorter in duration.  Given the recent increases in fuel prices, I figured that the airlines were making the planes fly more slowly to save fuel.  Thankfully, the return flight was a shade under twelve hours of flight time, more or less similar to my previous experiences.

The discrepancy between the westbound and eastbound flights between Los Angeles and Taiwan appears to be largely caused by the jet stream.  During the flight to Taiwan, the on-board video display indicated that the plane was facing a 70 mph headwind, while the same display on the return trip showed a 100 mph tailwind.  Crunch the numbers, and the three-hour difference in flight times seems quite reasonable.  Incidentally, wearing tights underneath my pants turned out to be a good thing, as my feet and legs did not swell up during the flight.

Shortly upon my return from Taiwan, I went to the gym to use the indoor swimming pool.  As a novice swimmer with only two months of swimming practice, I was constantly tinkering with my technique, and was adjusting my arm position, stroke rate, breathing, head position, and leg kicks as I struggled across the length of the 25-meter pool.  I noticed that when I was swimming well, that I would swim across the pool with fewer arm strokes and less fatigue, and I used that to gauge my fledgling aquatic skills.  After several pool crossings, I noticed that I would invariably swim slower in one direction compared to the opposite direction regardless of what I tried.  This perplexed me for a while, until I realized that the pool was shooting out water from one end and draining from the opposite end, effectively causing a directional current, so that I was sort of swimming upstream one way, and downsteam the other way.  I couldn't really feel the current while standing in the water, but the little bit of flow accounted for a difference of about two arm strokes.

Moving against the current requires more effort, whether one is flying against the jet stream, running against the wind, or swimming upstream.  It is often necessary to go against the flow in order to reach one's destination; however, many of us in life become distressed and think that we're headed the wrong way when we face strong currents against us, whether they are in the form of dissenting opinions, unpopular ethical or moral choices, risks or tangible losses.  We tend to believe that we are "in God's will" when things are going well, and when we face challenges, we fold and quit, and rationalize that God wants us to go another way.  Unfortunately, God does not always work this way.

After Jerusalem fell to the hands of Nebuchadnezzar and Babylon, the prevailing current of the times beckoned Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah to eat and drink assigned portions of the best foods from the king's table, but they stood their ground, and refused to be defiled by the royal food and wine.  Going against the flow meant that they alone among their peers had to endure three years of consuming nothing but vegetables and water, and they were eventually rewarded for their faith.  This same steadfastness later caused Daniel to be thrown into the lion's den and his friends to be thrown into the fiery furnace, but also to be delivered from them.

One must sometimes go against the flow and go with God in order to discover His will for our lives.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

Rules of the Road

I stood on the sidewalk of a busy intersection, and as the traffic signal turned green and the pedestrian “walk” light appeared, I carefully looked both ways before proceeding to cross the street when the coast appeared clear. About one-third of the way into my street crossing, three motorscooters making left turns zipped across in front of me while a large truck made a hasty right turn behind me, spewing dark smoke in my direction. After I made it across the street, I found that the sidewalk was impassable due to dozens of motorcycles parked there, so I continued my trek on the side of the road, sharing it with what appeared to be half of all vehicular traffic in the city (the other half was going in the opposite direction). A hundred meters past the intersection, a truck was parked on the side of the road with a door swung open wide into the street, forcing me and the motorscooters into the fast lane of the road briefly. A bus honked as it closely brushed by me while I skipped across a small pothole. I approached another intersection, and noticed that nearly all the vehicles that were waiting for the light to turn green started to move forward several seconds before the light signal actually changed.

Remarkably, no one on the street, whether pedestrians or motorists, seemed particularly upset by the apparent chaos that reigned on the road. I did not hear any cursing or swearing, and the honking by the bus driver seemed more out of habit than driven by emotion. It was business as usual...

...in Taiwan.

Most Americans who visit Taiwan (or most other densely populated lands, for that matter) would have been quite terrified by such street encounters. However, I have learned over several visits there that the secret to safely navigate Taiwanese streets on foot is to recognize and follow local rules (mostly unwritten) of the road – e.g., stay out of traffic if you can, don't make sudden moves, don't assume that a green “walk” light means that vehicles aren't going to make turns into your path, trust that that when you see motorcycles or cars approaching you closely, they are generally not going to hit you but will pass in front or behind you (you can't tell, so just keep moving carefully at the same speed and in the same direction!), and when vehicles are stopped at the red light, they are not actually waiting for their light to turn green...they are simply waiting for the green light in the other direction to turn red. Walking like an American pedestrian in the busy streets of Taiwan would be terribly difficult and scary; conversely, behaviors that are acceptable in Taiwanese roads will easily get you an encounter with a police officer in a typical American town. The rules are different, and following the wrong ones will get you into serious trouble.

Similarly, there are “rules of the road” for worldly success, as well as separate principles for living victoriously in Christ. To succeed in the worldly sense, one is often reminded to study hard, work hard, get a good job, climb the corporate ladder, make lots of money, keep up with the Jones, enjoy life, avoid pain, look out for “number one”, protect reputation, achieve ends/goals by whatever means possible, and to accumulate lots of stuff, because as the saying goes, “He who dies with the most toys wins”. However, adhering to such principles will frustrate those who wish to live according to God's prescription for success. The Bible reminds us to:

Love the LORD our God “with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

(James 1:2-3)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.

(Romans 12:1-2)

We are also commanded to rejoice always, pray without ceasing, seek first the kingdom of God, humble ourselves, be compassionate, be thankful, and trust that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

It is often too easy for us to neglect God's words and get caught up in the traffic and cares of achieving worldly success. We need to remember that as Christians we may not die with the most toys, but we ultimately are the winners, as our treasures are in heaven.

Rag Dolls, Used Underwear, and Purity

I have frequently performed medical procedures on young children under anesthesia, and have seen many tattered rag dolls, teddy bears and blankets being wheeled in with the patients into the operating room. The operating room staff always treat each of these special objects with utmost respect – they ask the child for the its name, promise to take good care of it, and make sure that it is securely at the child's side as the anesthesia is administered. We know that each of these treasures, though nearly always worn out and sometimes unattractive, is a child's source of security and comfort, and nothing in the world is good enough to replace it. The child does not want someone else's special doll or teddy bear, even if it is bigger, prettier and more colorful.

Most of us eventually would lose our attachments to these special toys and security blankets; however, we continue to find within our possessions objects of unique affection and significance that we treasure to the consternation of others. It might be a soiled, faded and stinky baseball cap that has been worn at every fishing trip for the last 20 years, or a special gift from a loved one that does not appear particularly attractive to the uninitiated. These are our belongings that no one else wants, and if they belong to others, we don't want them. They are kind of like underwear.

I never gave much thought to the significance of one's underwear until a few years ago, when I discovered in my pile of cleaned laundry a pair of white briefs that clearly wasn't mine. My family and I just recently returned from a vacation to Cancun, and I must had inadvertently taken someone else's Fruit of the Loom at one of the swimming pools. Oops. By then this wayward pair of underwear had already been thoroughly washed and dried, but the first thought that came to mind was that I would never, ever consider putting on underwear that has been worn by someone else. It wouldn't have mattered whether this was designer label, premium quality stuff – the idea of putting on something that had intimately caressed and protected another person was repulsive and unthinkable. Used cars and computers, no problem. T-shirts or shoes, maybe. Loin-covers, no way.

I wonder whether the reason we make such distinctions in our treatment of special rag dolls and baseball caps is because God made us that way in His infinite wisdom. When He gave the Ten Commandments to the Israelites in the desert, He declared,

“You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3)

God's people were solemnly charged not to worship the gods of the Egyptians, the Moabites, the Ammonites, the Canaanites, or any other people. Today, God continues to command us, as creations in His own image, to place Him above all things, before all things. Through our special possessions in our lives we learned that not all things are equal, and we treat certain ones with special affection. Having developed this tendency to distinguish between the special and the common, God then demands that we treat Him and His name with highest honor and respect.

In addition to giving God the highest place in our lives, he also commanded that we give special consideration to some individuals above all others. He commanded that we honor our fathers and mothers, and in the seventh commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.”(Exodus 20:14)

When I obey God's commandment against adultery (or any form of marital infidelity, for that matter), I am agreeing with Him that marital union is the most sacred of all human relationships, and that I must allow nothing to break it – not an old flame, not someone else who is younger or more attractive, not someone else who seems to understand and respect me. It is a union that no one else can truly understand. The thought of committing adultery should be unthinkable and repulsive...kind of like sleeping with someone else's smelly blanket instead of my own. Actually it's more like wearing someone else's dirty underwear.

May it never be.

Allergies

I see a lot of children with food allergies in my pediatric gastroenterology practice. Most of them turn out to be babies with cow milk allergy, and the usual culprits for the reactions are regular infant formulas made with cow milk, or cow milk protein from a nursing mother's diet that somehow ends up in her breastmilk.. These infants usually aren't very sick, but can have worrisome symptoms such as fussiness, excessive vomiting, poor weight gain, rash, asthma and bloody stools. Treatment is typically quite straightforward, as symptoms tend to subside within a few days after the offending milk is eliminated, either by changing to a “hypoallergenic” formula or having the mother completely eliminate dairy products from her diet while breastfeeding. Eventually, virtually all of these youngsters will develop a tolerance to the milk, and most will be able to drink regular milk later in childhood.

Unfortunately, not all food allergies are similarly benign, as certain foods are notorious for causing potentially life-threatening reactions. Children with serious peanut allergies have been known to develop lethal swelling of the breathing passages with exposure to even traces of peanut butter on a knife, and I have a colleague whose son had several trips to the emergency room due to walnut and shellfish allergies. One of my patients has severe allergies to most food categories, environmental allergens, latex and several medications, and has nearly lost her life repeatedly despite her and her parents' utmost diligence in protecting her against accidental exposure to known allergens. This girl takes her allergist's diagnosis of specific food allergies as warnings that are as serious and solemn as God's words to Adam and Eve against eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, that “when you eat of it you will certainly die.” (Genesis 2:17)

Most Christians tend to regard sin, i.e., transgressions against God's commands, rather casually. True, we realize that it is bad, we feel bad about it, and we sometimes suffer real consequences from our disobedience. However, because we also know that the penalty of our sins had been paid by Jesus on the cross, we forget the seriousness of sin too easily. We treat sin as minor reactions that manifest as a flare of eczema or runny nose, and fail to see it as a life-threatening event, for which we are without hope except for the atoning blood of Christ. My patient with the multiple severe allergies take daily medications and carry emergency drugs, including potentially life-saving injections, at all times. However, she realizes that the medications do not give her license to willfully violate her allergist's advice and eat something that is on the “forbidden” list. Her life might be spared by her medications and care at the emergency room and intensive care unit, but she still suffers real pain, and the fact of her survival from these attacks certainly does not diminish the seriousness of her disease. In the same way, we ought to regard any sin or temptation to sin, however minor it may seem in the world's eyes, as seriously as if it can kill us, save for God's grace and mercy. Only then will we truly abhor sin, and properly appreciate the price that Jesus paid for our transgressions.

“Flee from sexual immorality....” (1 Corinthians 6:18)

“Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry.” (1 Corinthians 10:14)

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”

(Romans 6:23)

Alighting Arthropods

Most of us have ambivalent views of insects. We are generally happy that honeybees pollinate flowers and provide us with a form of sticky sweetness that we mix in our food and drinks, but we also learn not to aggravate them, as a bee sting can be quite painful, and in some cases, even deadly. We enjoy watching beautiful butterflies fluttering among the flowers in the garden, but would rather not be bothered by flies, mosquitoes, ants and termites, for they land on our food, suck our blood, transmit diseases, bite and destroy our homes. Locusts devour our crops, but in some places, people return the favor by eating them. Suffice to say, humans and insects have a...complicated relationship.

It is perhaps this complex experience we have with insects that some of us have such difficulty remaining indifferent when one is within arm's length. We may shoo the fly or gnat, swat at the mosquito, stop and admire the butterfly or ladybug, squish the ant, take pictures of the dragonfly, duck from the approaching Japanese beetle, touch the caterpillar, or catch the grasshopper. A nearby nest of hornets may strike fear in our hearts and raise our heart rates and blood pressures. Insects stir within us responses of fascination, admiration, fear, aggression, and/or disgust, and it is generally difficult for an insect to get very close to me unscathed...

...unless it approaches from my blind side. I have been in Taiwan lately to visit my mother, who is recovering from an elective surgery, and last Sunday decided to visit the Bread of Life Church in Taipei. My mother gave me only general directions on how to get there by bus, but did not know the times of the church services, other than that there were probably several services each Sunday. I found the church after a short bus ride and a considerable amount of walking, and spent a couple of minutes standing by the entrance on the sidewalk to study the schedule of events. As I pondered my choices, I felt an unusual sensation on my neck, which initially seemed like an itch, but within a few seconds grew in intensity, and reminded me of what it felt like when I once allowed a small praying mantis to crawl on top of my head for fun. Ugh! I realized that some insect was probably crawling on my neck, so I shook my neck in an attempt to get rid of it. It was still there. I shook harder, now having the appearance of someone having convulsions. The thing appeared to have come loose, but now it dropped out of my neck and started to head down my back inside my shirt. I shook, I twisted, I reached behind my back, I looked like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, I...

...somehow managed to flick the thing out of my back, and saw to my surprise and slight horror a fully grown cockroach dropping to the ground and rapidly taking off toward the nearest tree. The cockroach was about two inches long, and if memory serves me correctly, these Taiwanese roaches can fly, though not very well – I used to see them banging against walls and windows and making crashing sounds. The poor cockroach likely mistook my neck for a landing pad, and I could have killed it; however, there was no harm, no foul for either of us in the end.

Many would have totally freaked out by such an experience. I'm talking about shrieks of terror, total loss of reason, panic attacks with hyperventilation, stuff like that. I've seen people react like that to cockroaches that weren't flying or landing on necks. I was actually more concerned when the bugger first started crawling down my back, as I couldn't tell initially whether it was an insect, a lizard or a small rodent, and became relieved that it was “only” a cockroach. I do not fear cockroaches because I know that they don't bite or sting, and that I am much bigger and present a more serious threat to a cockroach than it is to me during close encounters. On the other hand, my reaction would likely be much more severe if a scorpion or a poisonous snake made a surprise landing on me.

Christians often experience (figuratively, of course) similar close cockroach encounters during our earthly journey. Things may suddenly and unexpectedly happen to us that cause us anxiety, fear and pain. It may be a financial crisis, a false accusation, a lawsuit, an acute illness, or loss of a family member or close friend. However, when we size up the situation clinging on to God's promises, these situations take on new appearances as our perspectives change. Instead of being fearful of adversity, we remember to...

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4)

Instead of worrying about harm that may befall us, we remember that...

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

So, what was God's purpose in allowing the cockroach to scamper down my back? I wonder if it was a test to see whether I'd still go to church that morning (I checked out the English service there – lots of saints, no roaches on the floor). In any case, it made for an interesting story to tell.

Standing Beside a Supermodel

It was Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, traditionally the biggest shopping day of the year in the U.S.  I went to work that day instead, hoping to avoid the crowds and save some money by not spending.  The plan worked well until my wife Karen called me, frantically explaining that our son, Christopher, was hanging on for dear life to a new Martin acoustic guitar at the local Guitar Center store, refusing to leave unless she was willing to exchange for it with its purchase price.  Christopher was still a novice guitarist with only two years of experience, but his skills were advancing rapidly, to the point where it was time for him to upgrade from the old Yamaha that I bought during college.  It was somewhat of a coincidence that I just casually chatted with him about Martin guitars a few days beforehand.  Hearing also that there was a 15% discount in effect that day, I approved the transaction, and reassured Karen that it was a wise choice.  I went home that evening fully expecting to see a beautiful, brand-spanking new Martin acoustic....

It was nowhere to be found.  Karen and Christopher were rescued from the purchase by a man who introduced himself as a guitar aficionado, who claimed to have an even better Martin guitar at his home with twice the worth, and that he was willing to sell it for about the same price.  Karen agreed to have a look at the instrument, and asked me to accompany them to the man's house the following morning.  The guitar was there as advertised, in excellent condition, with a beautiful satin finish, a distinct, clean tone and very easy, low action.  I was hooked as Christopher started playing, initially gently and carefully, until the owner urged him to play harder and truly put the guitar to the test.  $550, hard case included, seemed a steal.

The seller explained that he was hoping to sell the guitar and upgrade to a much more expensive Gibson model, and that he was also willing to sell his other guitar, a fine Gibson “Baby-Jumbo”, for about $1,600, clearly out of our budget.  He let Christoper play with it as well, and it was literally love at first sight.  It had the lovely, intricate Gibson design, dark glossy finish and a tone that seemed darker, warmer and considerably more complex than that of the Martin.  It was so beautiful that the Martin guitar looked kind of, uh, ordinary, in comparison.  We ended up buying the Martin, but if we tarried any longer, there was no telling whether we'd take the offer on the Gibson.

Back home, my wife and I affirmed that we made a good purchase as Christopher filled the room with the crisp sound of his new guitar.  It was no Gibson Baby-Jumbo, but it had the distinctive Martin sound and look.  The problem of having it next to the Gibson guitar earlier that day was that it made the beautiful Martin seem like the homecoming queen standing next to a supermodel.

We are often like pretty decent guitars and homecoming queens when we regard our own righteousness.  We frequently hear people say that they are not saints, but at least they don't kill people or commit other heinous crime, and that they work hard, so God should be pleased with them.  However, God is holy and perfect, and no righteousness by our own merits will ever satisfy Him.  The prophet Isaiah, who likely was as humanly righteous and blameless as possible, cried before God's presence,

“Woe to me!...I am ruined!  For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 6:5)

The apostle Paul, who lived impeccably according to Jewish law prior to his conversion, regarded his own fleshly righteousness as “a loss” compared to “the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.” (Philippians 3:8).  It is by God's mercy that if we believe in Jesus, we not only have received forgiveness of our sins, we also have received his righteousness as well.

Otherwise, even the supermodel cannot stand before the beauty of God.

Glenn Duh

November 30, 2010 

Private Collections

My father had always enjoyed collecting things.  He collected postage stamps like many people in his generation, and later also hoarded a considerable stash of foreign coins that he acquired through many travels abroad.  I was quite familiar with his old stamp collection, as I used to marvel at this mounted display of World Warr II-era stamps from the Republic of China, and was particularly impressed by his collection's portrayal of the destructive force of inflation during wartime, as the stamps' denominations increased from the equivalent of pennies to literally hundreds of thousands of dollars over a few short years.  Throw in a few thousand more stamps from other countries and handfuls of foreign coins, and you can get yourself a pretty good education in world history, georaphy, economics, politics and nature.  Dad got me hooked on stamp collecting, and eventually entrusted his old stamps to my care.  He often reminded me to take good care of them, as they would eventually be worth quite a pocketful of change.

Throughout the years, Dad also collected other things, and I'd often notice him purchasing various trinkets not out of necessity, but simply to add to his collection.  However, I did not realize the extent of his habit until after he passed away unexpectedly four years ago, and I was left with the task of sorting out his stuff with my grieving mother in Taiwan.  Yes, he bought a lot more stamps - the folders would fill up an entire bookshelf, and he had a bunch of coins neatly separated by countries into little plastic bags.  Those did not surprise me.  Neither were the thousands of picture postcards and hundreds of collector (i.e., unused) Taiwanese and Japanese phone cards.  However, I also saw that he had 7 or 8 working pedometers (I'm sure he only wore one at a time), no fewer than a dozen bibles in 4 different languages (various translations of English and Chinese, as well as Taiwanese and Japanese), cabinets full of expensive, aged cognac and whiskey, hundreds of books that were of mostly local political interest, and several hundred magazines in dozens of titles on politics, food, history, travel and culture.  I was fairly certain that he did not read most of what he purchased, but they looked impressive on the bookshelves, and the glossy photographs and quality paper stock gave the magazines the illusion of lasting value.  I did my best to preserve the stamps, but had neither the time, energy nor space to handle the others, and they have larely been discarded or given away, or will soon be.

In the Bible, a rich young ruler asked Jesus what he needed to do to obtain eternal life.  Jesus replied that the man needed to sell all his possessions and follow him, and he went away sad because he could not part with his many possessions.  Ironically, Dad has eternal life now, as he became a Christian during his later years, but he had to leave everything behind for his loved ones to clean up.  The experience of handling my father's earthly stuff has caused me to view my own things in a new light, as I no longer have much desire to focus on my collections.  Sure, I still enjoy finding postage stamps that I have not seen before, but I am no longer obsessed with increasing my philatelic cache.  I want to make sure that I spend more effort on things of eternal value, so that my loved ones won't have to throw away all my stuff after I complete my earthly journey.  I'm tossing away my old magazines, and I am only keeping one subscription.

Why the magazine subscription?  I need to keep my mind occupied in the bathroom....

"Do not store for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." (Matthew 6:19-20)

Cat's Eyes

I never knew that I like cats until Pepper came into our family. Pepper is a lightly striped silver-gray Siamese mix who almost didn't survive his kitten-hood. Weighing in at a mere four ounces at discovery and abandoned in a friend's yard by his mother, he probably was the runt of the litter, and his survival was assured only after many hours of feedings, care and several visits to the veterinarian. Given his early challenges, it was quite gratifying to see Pepper grow and mature over the years, and my fondness for him also increased with time. Even our family dog does not seem to mind having him as a playmate.

If I have to describe Pepper with only one word, it is that he seems to be EVERYWHERE. He can be seen inside shoe boxes, on the mantle, in the closet, on the family piano (playing some sort of Arnold Schoenberg piece, I think), on my son's guitar, sleeping with the dog in my bed, climbing the ladder, and often on my pile of freshly washed, pure polyester running shirts and shorts. Cat hair in my underwear and on the toaster oven? It's all part of having Pepper in the family.

Pepper's seeming ubiquity can be downright unnerving at times. He is often the first thing I see in the bedroom when I roll out of bed, as if he'd been waiting for me. He would also casually appear in front of me as I use the restroom, take a shower, make coffee, change my clothes, or just walk down the hallway, over and over again. He kind of reminds me of how God is depicted in movies like Evan Almighty, where He would simply show up out of nowhere and say something freaky like “I knew you would be here”. I feel as if Pepper is watching my every move. Actually, as I am writing this, the cat is sniffing my toes...hope it doesn't mean that I accidentally stepped on dog poop.

Although Pepper seems to be keeping his eyes on me, I realize that he is only a cat, and whatever he sees, however private, is totally harmless. However, I would surely be a bit uncomfortable if Pepper's eyes are replaced by those of a human being or a spy camera, as they might ruin my reputation and reveal my character.

“Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.” (Jackson Browne)

While we often behave as if we are not being watched, the Bible indicates that God knows our every thought and every move before it even happens. The cat may be watching, but God has perfect knowledge. The cat may seem to be everywhere...God actually is.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

(Psalm 139:7-12)

May we live each moment of our earthly existence realizing that God sees all, knows all, and is ever present with us. May we also thank Him daily for grace and mercy when we act as if He is not there.

A Ready Answer

I get asked a bunch of questions throughout the day. As a pediatric gastroenterologist, questions from patients and their parents are typically related to digestive concerns:

“Why is my son constipated?”

“My daughter's been having stomachaches for 5 years. Can she have cancer?”

“Where did I get this intestinal infection from?”

Providing answers to such questions is well within my level of expertise, and I can usually respond readily and with confidence.

Sometimes the questions have nothing to do with digestion, but are asked anyways just because I'm a doctor:

“Why do my left knee and hip hurt after running cross-country?”

“My son fainted during soccer practice yesterday, and tests from the emergency room came back negative. What do you think happened?”

“What do you think about acupuncture for my daughter's migraine?”

In such cases, I may need to summon memories from my general medical training, general pediatrics experience, personal encounters while training for marathons, and even stuff that I read on the Internet. I am usually not afraid to give an answer, and occasionally I would include “I don't know” as a response. I find that years of experience as a medical professional has only caused me to acknowledge more readily that I do not know everything, and I am rarely embarrassed by such deficiency in knowledge. Recognition of such deficiencies also would spur me to research for answers, resulting in much personal enrichment and satisfaction.

We all face questions regardless of our niche in society or station in life. It matters little whether we are teachers, receptionists, accountants, employers, employees, parents or gardeners, as each of us have been entrusted with unique insight, experience and knowledge that others find valuable. As Christians, we are seen as “God experts”, and thus should expect questions and challenges from others, whether they be borne of sincerity, cynicism or malice:

“If God is all-powerful and all-loving, why is there evil in the world?”

“Why can't I go to heaven by believing in another religion?”

“Where in the Bible does it say that abortion is wrong?”

“Why does Jesus have to die for my sins?”

“How do you know that the Bible is the word of God?”

“Doesn't science prove that we don't need God?”

Just as I am not ashamed to say “I don't know” when confronted with a difficult medical question, but be ready to seek the answer myself, I also should not be afraid to admit when a satisfactory answer to one of the above questions is not readily available. I should also be eager and bold to seek the answer myself, for God is the fountainhead of all knowledge.

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” (1 Peter 3:15-16)

Moving with Purpose

I stepped into the shallow end of the gym's 25 meter lap pool with trepidation, as I looked down the other lanes and saw two swimmers gracefully cutting back and forth across the water. Their forms were beautiful whether they were doing the freestyle crawl, the breaststroke or the backstroke, and as I admired them I also hoped that they would pay no attention to me as I readied myself for my swim. Unlike these gym regulars, I had not swam more than a length of a neighbor's backyard swimming pool for more than 35 years, as my only swim lessons consisted of only one or two weeks during my grade school days in Taiwan. Twenty five meters – I wasn't even sure that I could stay afloat long enough to make it across the pool. After the other swimmers were clear toward the opposite end of the pool, I put my head down, kicked off the wall, and for the next minute or so found myself wildly flapping my arms, furiously kicking, scrambling for breath when not choking and gulping water, and generally making slow progress. The first 25 meter swim of my life ended with me hanging on to the edge of the pool coughing, wheezing, and with my chest heaving as if I just broke the world record in the 100-meter dash. It was not a pretty sight. Fortunately, the other swimmers at least acted as if they weren't paying attention to me. They've probably seen my kind before.

It took little time for me to realize that swimming is very different from, and a lot harder than running. Road racing, whether it be a 5K run/walk or a marathon, is the most democratic of all sports, as anyone who is able to put one foot in front of the other can participate. It doesn't matter whether you are fast, slow, have beautiful form, limp, wheeze, or have only one leg (yes, I have been beaten in a marathon by a woman with a prosthetic leg...long story); virtually anyone can join such a race and cross the finish line with arms proudly held high. You can even run dressed as a mascot, in an Elvis outfit, while juggling, or even backwards. Having good technique and form would make you faster, but it isn't entirely necessary. On the other hand, swimming is all about technique. After several sessions of titanic struggles against the liquid element, it became clear that if I am to move in the water with purpose and direction, I have to point my head a certain way, breathe a certain way, move my arms a certain way, bend my elbows at a specific angle, push and pull the water with my upper extremities in a certain direction, and kick with the proper motion. Every movement has a purpose, whether to propel me in the right direction or to reduce resistance and drag, ultimately so that I can make it to the end of the pool.

A Christian's sojourn on earth is very much like swimming. Becoming a Christian and receiving the assurance of salvation is not the end of the journey; it is only the beginning. From this point on, we are called to manifest the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), endure suffering and trials “...so that you may become mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:4), “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12), and to “go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). We don't do this in order to be saved, but our actions are evidence of our changed nature. Every moment of our lives is to have the ultimate purpose to glorifying God, and a crown of glory awaits us at the end our our journey.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

When we are distracted by self-centeredness and worldly cares, we are flapping our arms aimlessly in the water, and exhaust ourselves without making progress. May we move with purpose.

Bruises and Scars

Whack! I was peddling up the steep hill with all my might as a loud snapping noise interrupted my cadence and brought the bike to a standstill. Maybe it wasn't that great an idea to ride my son's old BMX bike with my daughter and her Girl Scouts for their 7-mile bike-a-thon from Temple City to the Santa Fe Dam Recreational Area. Esther was really excited about the event, and the scout leader was asking for some parents to join the ride – how could I resist? The problem was that we only had two kiddie bikes in the garage – my son's little blue-and-white fixed-gear BMX thingy, and a pink 6-gear bicycle that's designed for an 8 year old's body. Perhaps I'd have done better with 6 gears, but I wasn't going to be caught riding a pink bicycle. My body and the ride was a bit much for the bike, as the bicycle's wheels abruptly locked up once, and the chain fell off the sprocket twice before I managed to complete the ride. I also banged up my right knee at some point, and felt a small tender bump just inside the kneecap. It wasn't all that painful, and I soon forgot about the bruise.

As it turned out, it wasn't a small bruise. The little bump grew into a purple, softball-sized monstrosity the next day, and would remain visible for the next couple of weeks before fading. Fortunately, bruises usually heal completely over time, and leave no traces. Scars, on the other hand, tend to remain visible for years. Being a somewhat clumsy runner, I have tripped and fallen a few times en route to collecting several nasty scrapes and cuts, which have turned into a thick scar on my right knee that has the appearance of a misplaced hemorrhoid. Unlike the overlying, temporary bruise, this scar is permanent.

Just as we can be harmed by physical trauma, our words and actions can also cause harm to one's mind and spirit. I have certainly done and spoken things that have upset many people, and many have done the same to me in return. Fortunately, most of these left only bruises that were ugly for a moment, but caused little damage to relationships. I have also been on both the giving and receiving end of deep, penetrating wounds that left scars. One of my ugliest scar was the result of some relatively innocent but unthoughtful words and action from a good friend many years ago, which still continues to arouse deep discomfort within me if I choose to think about it. It wasn't that amends weren't made or that I refused to forgive – in fact, the person apologized as soon as the error was recognized, and I believe that I truly had forgiven the offense in my heart. Nevertheless, some things cannot be easily forgotten.

“Forgive and forget” is a common advice that we hear and give; however, forgetting is not always possible for those who have memories. When Peter asked Jesus whether he should forgive someone's transgression against him seven times, it was implied that he was forgiving and simultaneously keeping count. This leads to a somewhat disturbing thought – God has perfect knowledge, and knows every single one of our offenses, whether thought, word or action, from the moment we exited the womb. It is by His mercy and grace that just as I can put on pants and cover my scarred knee, God has covered our sins by the blood of Jesus, so that we can stand righteous before Him if we believe in Christ and claim him as our Lord and Savior. God does not forget as if He has too many things to do and cannot remember all the details; He simply does not count our sins against us when Christ's righteousness is imputed to us.

as far as the east if from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

(Psalm 103:12)

Blessed is the one

whose transgressions are forgiven,

whose sins are covered.

Blessed is the one

whose sin the Lord does not count against them

and in whose spirit is no deceit.

(Psalm 32:1-2)

Great Cake! Whose Birthday?

One of the little perks of working in a large clinic is that we get to celebrate at least one person's birthday each month of the year. These monthly rituals of celebration tend to be quite festive, often with Mexican-style spreads in one of the lounge/break rooms beckoning us to finish our morning clinics early so that the party can begin. As we eat, we marvel at the culinary prowess of those who provided the tasty vittles, and loudly complain about how difficult it is to work in the afternoons with such full stomachs, while simultaneously greedily shoving taquitos and chips down the throat. The highlight of the party, however, is the dessert – often a large chocolate cheesecake, dulce de leche cake, ice cream, or other dairy delights, a fitting finish for someone like me who is notoriously lactose intolerant. Yes, a large slice sounds good. Eat now, pay later....

While most of these birthday celebrations are announced well in advance, I don't always pay attention to the notices, and sometimes realize only as lunchtime approaches that something is going on, with distinct aromas of a potluck lunch wafting from the corner room and nurses inviting me to join in the festivities. I am embarrassed to say that I often do not know whose birthdays are being celebrated, and occasionally, the birthday girls (being a pediatrics clinic with mostly female receptionists, medical assistants, nurses, pharmacists and pediatricians, I am often the only male member of the entire staff) may not even be there for the celebration. No matter, as the food is still good.

Just as we sometimes party on in someone's honor without actually knowing whom we are honoring or whether the person is even in the room, it is also possible to go to church and celebrate the Lord's day without actually paying notice to God. We may enjoy meeting friends, discuss personal triumphs and challenges, break down details of the most recent USC football game, listen to good music, participate in singing, watch polished multimedia presentations, hear quotes from famous writers and experts in popular psychology and culture, listen to energetic preaching, and even take a short, refreshing nap during the sermon (I am unfortunately guilty of the latter), but exclude God from our minds, hearts and spirits. We certainly don't intend to neglect God; we simply forget to pay attention.

Jesus' words in the book of Revelation,

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” (Revelation 3:20)

is not a calling for unbelievers to open their heart's doors in order to receive Jesus as lord and savior of their lives. Instead, Jesus was addressing believers, i.e., Christians, who were gathered at the church in Laodicea. Jesus accused the church in Laodicea as being neither hot nor cold, but lukewarm. Was Jesus indicating that these Christians were gathering and doing Christian stuff, without remembering that they were bearing the name of Christ, and somehow literally left Jesus out of their conversations, thoughts and hearts?

Instead, we are called in Deuteronomy 6:5 to love the LORD “with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” When we gather in Jesus' name, may every word that we speak, may our every thought and our every action be with the intention of giving Him glory and honor alone.

OEM Parts and the Bible

“Now, this picture shows an OEM (original equipment manufacturer) front bumper for the vehicle. For comparison, here is an after-market part, which at first glance looks like the OEM part, but is much cheaper. However, a detailed comparison will show that the OEM part also has a much higher density, is made of a different material, and weighs considerably more than the after-market part. The OEM product also has these reinforcing ribs....”

Bob, a longstanding member of our church and senior manager for a major automotive company, was invited to give a talk about automobiles, and it took little time for him to dive into his particular area of expertise. He convincingly demonstrated that there are certain parts of the automobile that should not be replaced with cheaper, after-market products because the inferior quality and specifications of these may prove costly in the long run, particularly in case of accidents, when these parts play critical roles in protecting the vehicle occupants. In case anyone remained unconvinced, Bob concluded this part of his talk by producing videos of low-speed front end crash tests comparing OEM and after-market bumpers. The OEM bumper temporarily deformed to absorb the crash impact, but remained intact, recoiled back to its initial appearance, and would have fully protected the vehicle. On the other hand, the after-market bumper shattered into small pieces upon impact, and would have resulted in expensive damage to the vehicle and possible injury to the occupants. Another concern that was not immediately apparent in the video demonstration is that the vehicle's air bags are synchronized with impact sensors to discharge at precise moments in a crash, thus altering the bumper may potentially cause the air bag to fill at the wrong time and cause additional injury.

It is human nature to tinker with things to suit our own needs. Sometimes the alterations are quite trivial, such as a new skin for a mobile phone or laptop, or decals and racing stripes for a brand new Hyundai or Chevy. I unfortunately learned that other changes are associated with more serious consequences, as my notebook computer recently sputtered and ground to a halt after I tried to install an incompatible anti-virus suite. Thankfully, I was able to bring my computer back to life using the system restore utility, and eventually acquiesced to staying with the pre-installed software.

In the same way, we also have the innate tendency to tinker with God's word. Sometimes we try to enhance it with verses that do not exist. The saying, “God only helps those who help themselves” is completely inconsistent with biblical teaching, and cannot be found in the Bible; however, it has been quoted so commonly that even some who profess to be Christians think that Jesus said it. Other times we remove parts of God's word, at least in our minds, and replace them with modifications to suit our own concept of God. Some deny the presence of miracles, and claim them to be either inauthentic or misunderstood. For example, they may claim that Jesus didn't really feed the five thousand – he simply gave a rousing sermon using the boy with his five loaves and two fish, and those in the crowd who brought food were moved to share with those who did not, so everyone had something to eat. Muslims categorically deny that Jesus died on the cross, because they believe that Allah would never allow one of his prophets to die such an undignified death.

By tinkering with God's word and building a “new and improved” god who is loving, but stripped of sovereignty, power, knowledge and justice, those who do so are also counting on this “after-market” god to carry them through life's difficulties, only to learn that it shatters upon impact when crashes in life inevitably happen. Instead of everlasting joy, transcendent peace, perseverance through trials, intimacy with God, and compassion for those in need, they cry, “How can a loving God allow evil and suffering to happen? Why are my prayers not answered when I pray for God to heal my child's cancer? Why did my business fail when I asked God to bless my work? I cannot believe in a God who is unfair....”

Are there any “after-market” parts in my understanding of God? The answer lies in studying God's word, desiring its truth, and not inclining to replace it with ideas that seem more palatable to my own nature.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15)

Been There, Done That

Much of what I know about medicine are rarely taught in medical school. For example, most medical students do not know that:

• If a baby refuses to take a certain prescription liquid medication that has a nasty, pepperminty taste, there is a common over-the-counter chewable alternative that can be cut up, crushed and given with food, and that it has a nice fruit flavor.
• A particular medication is quite expensive at most drug stores, but can be purchased at bargain prices at Costco.
• Taking mineral oil as a laxative may result in mild embarrassment from the oil seeping into the underwear and giving the sensation of having Vaseline smeared on the rear end.
• Glycerin suppositories and enemas can cause stomachaches, butt cramps and passage of mucus.
• It is a good idea to blow your nose first before someone tries to stick a tube into your nostrils to pump your stomach, otherwise the sensation of snot being pushed down the throat can be pretty disgusting.
• Some infant formulas don't taste too bad, but have a distinct aftertaste and odor that reminds one of rotten fish.

The reason that I learned the above is because I have actually sampled several of my patients' medications, given myself laxatives (including the ones that go “up” the other way), perused the pharmacy aisles and checked prices, shoved a nasogastric tube down my own throat, and drank several cans of expired formula with my nose pinched. These extra measures that I took taught me how it is like to be a patient, and likely made me a better doctor when I counsel my patients and their parents. When they get nervous about certain treatments and procedures, it is reassuring for them to know that I have already tried them myself, and that I managed to live and tell about them.

Been there, done that.

However, what I have put myself through is nothing compared to the earthly experiences of the incarnate Jesus, who not only came to die for our sins, but to also live as we live in this world. He ate, drank, hungered, thirsted, wept, got angry, suffered pain, experienced rejection, and bled. He also faced temptation in far greater measures than what we have encountered daily. Jesus knows our struggles...he's been in our shoes before. This is Jesus,

“Who, being in very nature God,

did not consider equality with God

something to be grasped,

but made himself nothing,

taking the very nature of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

and became obedient to death –

even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

and gave him the name that is above every name,

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father."

(Philippians 2:6-11)

Been there, done that.

Thanks be to God for the personal touch!

Walking With Eyes Closed

I tend to take my sense of vision for granted unless I encounter those who suffer from severe visual impairment or blindness. I marvel at how the blind are able to carry out common tasks, read braille, play the piano, walk down the sidewalk and cross the street without assistance, even running in road races, and I occasionally wonder how it feels to not see. I would sometimes practice the exercise of closing my eyes as I walk down the street to see whether I could walk without straying off the path, akin to when one lets go of the steering wheel while driving to check the car's wheel alignment. Invariably, I would start confidently with the initial steps, but eventually my steps would become increasingly tentative, and I would open my eyes after only a few seconds for fear of tripping or crashing into a fence.

Just as I depend on my vision to walk a straight path, I also need my eyesight to maintain balance. I can easily stand balanced on one foot for over two minutes at a time; however, I usually can barely remain upright in that posture for a few seconds with my eyes closed.

Without light, my body becomes disoriented, and I stumble easily. On the other hand, when my surroundings are illuminated and my eyes are open, I walk, run, and jump confidently without fear. Although the visually impaired and the blind can run marathons, they can only do so with the aid of personal guides who direct their every step. In the same way, God's word is like a guiding light that gives me a sense of direction. It guides me to act according to His will and allows me to steer clear of potholes, traps and stumbling blocks that the devil scatters before me in my everyday decisions.

I have hidden your word in my heart

that I might not sin against you (Psalm 119:11)

Your word is a lamp to my feet

and a light for my path (Psalm 119:105)

May I walk this day with my eyes open as God's word chases away the darkness.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Cats, Raccoons and Christians

Some medical conditions are much easier to diagnose than others. To determine whether one is pregnant, one simply needs to start with a testing kit and an urine sample. On the other hand, it takes a bit more experience and skill to diagnose irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). IBS affects tens of millions of Americans, with symptoms of crampy abdominal pain and abnormal bowel movements. As a pediatric gastroenterologist, I have seen thousands of children and teens with IBS, most of whom being referred to me after various combinations of negative laboratory tests, X-rays, ultrasounds and CT scans. The problem with diagnosing IBS is that this condition cannot be detected by routine tests, but only by asking the right questions, recognizing specific characteristics of reported symptoms, complaints and examination findings, and having sufficient information to confidently rule out other potentially serious disease. Most young physicians are quite nervous when confronted with the diagnosis of IBS, and they order many expensive tests for fear of missing cases of bowel obstruction, appendicitis, serious infection, or cancer. Seasoned doctors (at least those who have not been sued often), on the other hand, tend to order fewer tests as their abilities to positively recognize IBS are honed by years of practice and experience.

In addition to my ability to spot IBS in youngsters, I have also been sharpening my ability to identify unleashed animals in the dark, pre-dawn hours. While training for marathons, I often run around my neighborhood before sunrise, when most of the road traffic consist of stray cats and leashed dogs taking their owners for their morning walks. I soon learned to distinguish between a cat and an unleashed dog in dim light from a distance, using clues of their dark silhouettes and gait characteristics alone. If I see a cat, I need not alter my running in any way, as the cat will get out of my way. A dog without an owner, on the other hand, needs to be approached with caution, and I make sure that I maintain a safe distance from it while avoiding eye contact, lest I invite an awkward confrontation. Occasionally I would see a couple of cat-sized creatures that walk neither like cats nor dogs, and I take special care not to disturb them. They often turn out to be raccoons or opossums.

We often identify things by comparing them to certain profiles in our minds. As a physician, I evaluate patients and compare my findings with profiles of irritable bowel syndrome and various other conditions. When I run outside, I check my surroundings with profiles of cats, dogs, raccoons, potholes, and reckless drivers. In the same way, the Bible indicates that there is also a profile of what a Christian is like. The apostle John wrote,

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

The greatest joy that I experience at work is not from patients and families telling me that I'm a good doctor, from diagnosing a rare disease, or even from praise by colleagues. It is from a few of my patients or their parents spontaneously declaring that I must be a Christian because they can tell by some manner of my speech, action or demeanor.

As ambassadors for Christ on earth, we are constantly having our profiles checked out by those around us. Do we fit the profile of the Christian in our daily lives?

The Perils of Being Too Flexible

I recently witnessed an amazing acrobatic performance by three young Asian women at a televised talent competition. They were quite a flexible bunch as their synchronized contortions resulted in body parts appearing to be in, uh, disturbing relationships to each other. Is it possible to be too flexible? Maybe I'm just jealous, but I think if you are able to bend backwards and literally sit on top of your head, the answer has to be yes.

Musculoskeletal flexibility has never been my strong suit. I'm pretty sure that I was able to stand and touch my toes at one point in my life, but since I can't really remember anything prior to my preschool days, memories of me accomplishing such a feat are at best fuzzy. On the other hand, recollections of hamstring pain as I try to touch my...shins, abound. A serious back injury that resulted in surgery 15 years ago stiffened me up even more, so that I can no longer stand and reach much farther beneath my kneecaps without feeling something tighten up. As an avid runner, I learned that flexibility may help improve running speed, so I've often tried various stretching exercises, to little avail.

Despite my longstanding history of back and hamstring stiffness, I also learned that not every part of my body is equally inflexible. While practicing a Haydn concerto on my oboe, I encountered a particularly challenging passage, during which my right pinky finger would make clunking noises and cause pain whenever I tried to play a certain note that required me to reach for a key with that finger. It turned out that whenever I tried to play that note, one of my right pinky joints was too flexible, and would hyperextend, i.e., bend backwards, causing my finger to get trapped like a cocked trigger. I have been trying to adjust my hand position to ameliorate the problem, but the ultimate solution may be to wear a small finger splint to restrict my joint's motion. In other words, I lament about my back and hamstrings being too tight, while simultaneously wishing that one of my fingers is not as flexible.

Just as one's flexibility or lack thereof sets limits on a person's range of motion, God's law also sets limits on what one can or cannot do. If you violate limits on a joint's range of motion, you may end up with a sprain, a dislocation, a fracture or other injury. Violating God's law also has serious consequences, as Adam and Eve disobeyed God, and their descendants are still reaping the consequences of sin. Nevertheless, there is great freedom when one is conscious of the boundaries, for he can move within them without fear. We usually think of law as being restrictive rather than liberating, yet the writer of Psalm 19 clearly saw delight in God's law:

The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul;
the testimony of the LORD is sure,
making wise the simple;
the precepts of the LORD are right,
rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the LORD is pure,
enlightening the eyes;
the fear of the LORD is clean,
enduring forever;
the rules of the LORD are true,
and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold,
even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey
and drippings of the honeycomb.
Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.  (Psalm 19:7-11)

If the boundaries of law actually are liberating and protective, what about my stiff back and hammies? There is an ongoing debate among runners and sports medicine experts on how much stretching is beneficial, as studies indicate that while too little flexibility is bad, too much flexibility may actually be associated with greater risk of injury. Despite my stiffness, I have logged over 20,000 miles of running and 20 marathons during the past 7 years, and never experienced a serious running-related injury. While my restricted range of motion made me slower, it also protected me.

May we run long and far as we abide by God's law in our lives.

The Bucket List

The clinic corridor was buzzing with curiosity as a small crowd gathered around two doctors who just returned from a three-week vacation to South Africa. The doctors, a pediatric cardiologist and a pediatric oncologist, decided to take a once-in-a-lifetime trip together, during which they spent many hours in the various wildlife preserves, saw innumerable large mammals, and tracked down the “big five”, i.e., the elephant, the lion, the leopard, the rhinoceros, and the Cape buffalo, with their guide in open-air Land Rovers. The excitement reached a climax as they recounted how they got dangerously close to a rhinoceros that nearly charged at them, and a voice in the group chided the surviving travelers for putting the clinic at risk of losing two doctors on the same day. Another pediatrician, who also took a similar vacation a few years ago, exclaimed that every person needs to take this trip at least once in his or her lifetime, and the returning adventurers heartily agreed. In other words, an African safari is on their “bucket list”.

Bucket lists, that is, lists of items to check off before one dies (kicks the bucket), have become quite popular nowadays. There are books on places to visit before you die, restaurants to eat at before you die, and in a recent issue of an endurance sports magazine, I even saw a bucket list of events for hardcore runners...let's see how many I can check off:

Boston Marathon – check...did it in 2007

Comrades Marathon in South Africa – 56 miles...probably doable if I don't get too old...maybe in a few years?

Western States Endurance Run – 100 miles in the mountains? I'm not good with directions, so it will probably turn into 150 miles...forget it....

Seriously, you can't always take these lists too seriously.

Do I have a “bucket” list? Well, not exactly, but I do hope to someday see Alaska, be on a cruise, go to Europe, have grandchildren, and finish a triathlon. However, experiencing the awesome, majestic presence of the holy God would be on the short list if I have one. It was certainly highly endorsed by king David long ago:

One thing I ask of the LORD,

this is what I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the LORD

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD

and to seek him in his temple

(Psalm 27:4)

Better is one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

(Psalm 84:10)

Would I rather be in the house of the LORD, or be charged by an angry rhino in South Africa? One experience is bound to be life-changing, while the other is potentially life-ending. There is no comparison.

Updates, Uploads, Links, Posts, Tweets...But No God

Facebook has brought me back in touch with friends, classmates and colleagues that I have not seen for many years, and has given me glimpses into their lives. Status updates, web links and uploaded photos indicate our personalities, passions and priorities as we each stand in an individual corner in cyberspace and clamor for attention. Through Facebook, I discovered that one of my high school classmates openly lives an “alternative” lifestyle, many of my old friends are obese, most are passionately bragging about their kids, several have taken up running, cycling and hiking as hobbies, one was teaching his children to scuba dive, some changed jobs, others lost jobs, and some seem to spend endless hours playing online games. I also get to know one's political and religious views, as well as favorite movies, songs, books, and quotes, and can generally synthesize a crude idea of the person, or at least the image that he/she wishes to portray. As an example, my Facebook page indicates that I'm a geezer who is married with kids, is a Christian, listens to classical music, runs marathons, works as a pediatric gastroenterologist, and shares similar political views with his wife. It's not a complete picture, but it's not necessarily an inaccurate one.

Oftentimes, what one does not post on Facebook also speaks volumes about the person. Imagine a married man not mentioning anything about his wife and declares that he is seeking “friendship”, or parents being mum about their children while waxing eloquently about their work and hobbies – these would be “red flags” that suggest the possibility of serious relational problems. Fortunately, such glaring omissions are rare among my friends with well-maintained Facebook pages. Nevertheless, as I curiously perused the profiles of friends who had the greatest impact in my life, i.e, those whose lives, words and actions led me to become a Christian many years ago, I became quite distressed by what I did not see.

I had several Christian friends in high school who invited me to church meetings and services, and through their witness and friendship eventually received Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior during the summer after my junior year in high school. I have not seen many of them over the years, but was quite excited to find most of them via Facebook, and wanted to know what the Lord has been doing in their lives. Not surprisingly, most are married with children after more than 27 years, one became a missionary, some others are also living abroad, and others have been leading interesting lives as well. However, among those who had the most instrumental roles in my becoming a Christian, there was no mention of their faith, their participation in the body of Christ, or of God. It seems that their career pursuits, hobbies and sundry interests have received ample attention, but there was nothing in their Facebook postings that remotely suggested a Christian worldview. It was as if they never knew God.

What happened to my friends? Is it possible to become a Christian and then not become one? Did the Holy Spirit actually regenerate their hearts and redeem them? Were they never saved in the first place? I am afraid to find out.

Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.

(Matthew 10:32-33)

If Christ is real, and if I claim that He reigns in my heart, I cannot help but put Him first in my thoughts, words and actions. As a husband and proud father of two children, it does not take long before my wife and kids are mentioned in any conversation. Will I acknowledge Christ before men with equal ease and fervor?

Undiagnosed Celiac Disease

Celiac disease was once considered a relatively rare condition when I was in medical school.    Those who live with celiac disease have to be on a strict gluten-free diet, because gluten (a protein that is found in wheat, rye and barley) in the diet somehow confuses their immune systems to cause damage to the intestines.  Symptoms of celiac disease include stunting of growth, diarrhea, abdominal pain, weight loss, and skin problems, and my early mental image of celiac disease was that of a bald, scrawny toddler with tiny bones, virtually no muscle in the arms and legs, and a bloated belly.  If I ever see a child who has such an appearance, I certainly will need to rule out celiac disease.  However, most other doctors who see such a child would also recognize that something is seriously wrong, and chances are that screening tests for celiac disease would have been done before I ever lay eyes on the child as a pediatric gastroenterologist.

As understanding of this condition and diagnostic tools improved over time, it is now relatively easy to diagnose celiac disease in individuals who are clinically not as ill, and even in those who appear essentially normal.  While previous estimates suggested a prevalence of one in a few thousand people, it is now believed that celiac disease may actually be present in one out of every 100-200 persons.  Many who have the condition (based on laboratory test results and abnormal findings on biopsies of the small intestine) appeared to have no symptoms, and were quite surprised by the diagnosis.  However, some of them, like Mr. James (not his real name), the shock came only a few weeks later.

Mr. James brought his son to see me to rule out celiac disease.  He explained that he himself always had stomach trouble as a child, but neither he nor his family paid much attention to it, and dismissed it as being “regular” stomachaches.  Over time, Mr. James became accustomed to his frequent discomfort and disregarded it until years later, when, for unrelated reasons, he underwent an upper gastrointestinal endoscopy, and was incidentally diagnosed with celiac disease.  He started himself on a gluten-free diet, and within a few weeks began to feel dramatically better than at any previous point in his life.  The sense of well being was accompanied by a weight gain of twenty pounds, and as I spoke with Mr. James he appeared muscular and fit.  He marveled that he never knew that it was possible for him to feel as good as he did after his condition was properly diagnosed and treated, and he wished that he could have known about this many years beforehand.

Mr. James' experience reminds me of my own spiritual condition before I became a Christian at seventeen years of age.  I was born of hard-working, responsible parents, and was grateful for their sacrifice in bringing my brother and me from Taiwan to the U.S. to have a better education.  I studied hard, somehow managed to get straight As in high school within one semester of being immersed in a new culture and language, and rapidly became popular among my friends in the school band because I played a mean saxophone.  While life was often difficult as I rarely saw my father, who mostly remained in Taiwan to support the family, and I suffered many bouts of loneliness despite being surrounded by classmates but few friends, I thought that things were going quite well overall, and had no desire or room in my heart for God.  I thought that working hard, achieving success and contributing to society were the chief goals in life, that science was the answer to everything, and that God was an invention of weak minds.  It was only after Jesus, the Good Shepherd, claimed me as His own that I realized that there is such greater joy and meaning to my existence when God takes the center of my life.  As I come to understand and experience His creativity, righteousness, holiness, love, mercy and grace over the years, the spiritual poverty that I was living in without God has become appalling to me, and I believe that God will never allow me to ever live life in denial of Him again.  Jesus gave me this assurance:

And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he gas given me, but raise them up at the last day.  (John 6:39)

Somehow, I have this feeling that Mr. James will never stray from his gluten-free diet.