“Mr. Duh, here is the consent form for the surgery. Please read it over to make sure that you don’t have any questions.”
I sat before an anesthesiologist to go through the pre-operative paperwork for my back surgery. The event occurred nearly 20 years ago, but a few of the anesthesiologist’s words still echo in my head today. I had been experiencing severe back pain and leg numbness from a slipped lumbar disc, and the neurosurgeon whom I saw recommended a fairly routine type of lower back surgery to correct the problem. As I went through the various paperwork regarding the planned hospital admission and surgery, I signed them through fairly quickly, thinking that as a young physician myself, I knew all about these things. True, I was a bit nervous because my wife Karen was about 6 months pregnant with our firstborn son at the time, and she occasionally expressed to me her anxiety about the “what ifs” of surgery and anesthesia, but I did my best to suppress whatever fear that attempted to surface at the time.
As I was about to sign the surgical consent form, the anesthesiologist looked at me seriously, and asked,
“You know that you can die from this procedure, right?”
I paused. His candor was a bit unexpected and took me by surprise. He was right - once I am put under anesthesia for the surgery, I would be completely powerless to do anything other than to completely entrust my life to the surgery team. It would be absolute surrender.
This was a tall order, but it was not any more than what our Lord Jesus asked of his believers when he said to them,
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)
Jesus demanded radical surrender from his disciples, to the point of living each day as if they were dead to the world. To “take up his cross” practically means that we are to regard ourselves as dead to our own will, just as one who is bearing his cross is, for all practical purposes, dead. However, Jesus did not simply demand it of us. As the one and only Son of God, he uttered the ultimate words of submission and surrender on the eve of his crucifixion,
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42)
I signed the surgical consent form.
If we desire God to transform our lives, we will also need to surrender our will to Him. Absolutely.
