Whack! I was peddling up the steep hill with all my might as a loud snapping noise interrupted my cadence and brought the bike to a standstill. Maybe it wasn't that great an idea to ride my son's old BMX bike with my daughter and her Girl Scouts for their 7-mile bike-a-thon from Temple City to the Santa Fe Dam Recreational Area. Esther was really excited about the event, and the scout leader was asking for some parents to join the ride – how could I resist? The problem was that we only had two kiddie bikes in the garage – my son's little blue-and-white fixed-gear BMX thingy, and a pink 6-gear bicycle that's designed for an 8 year old's body. Perhaps I'd have done better with 6 gears, but I wasn't going to be caught riding a pink bicycle. My body and the ride was a bit much for the bike, as the bicycle's wheels abruptly locked up once, and the chain fell off the sprocket twice before I managed to complete the ride. I also banged up my right knee at some point, and felt a small tender bump just inside the kneecap. It wasn't all that painful, and I soon forgot about the bruise.
As it turned out, it wasn't a small bruise. The little bump grew into a purple, softball-sized monstrosity the next day, and would remain visible for the next couple of weeks before fading. Fortunately, bruises usually heal completely over time, and leave no traces. Scars, on the other hand, tend to remain visible for years. Being a somewhat clumsy runner, I have tripped and fallen a few times en route to collecting several nasty scrapes and cuts, which have turned into a thick scar on my right knee that has the appearance of a misplaced hemorrhoid. Unlike the overlying, temporary bruise, this scar is permanent.
Just as we can be harmed by physical trauma, our words and actions can also cause harm to one's mind and spirit. I have certainly done and spoken things that have upset many people, and many have done the same to me in return. Fortunately, most of these left only bruises that were ugly for a moment, but caused little damage to relationships. I have also been on both the giving and receiving end of deep, penetrating wounds that left scars. One of my ugliest scar was the result of some relatively innocent but unthoughtful words and action from a good friend many years ago, which still continues to arouse deep discomfort within me if I choose to think about it. It wasn't that amends weren't made or that I refused to forgive – in fact, the person apologized as soon as the error was recognized, and I believe that I truly had forgiven the offense in my heart. Nevertheless, some things cannot be easily forgotten.
“Forgive and forget” is a common advice that we hear and give; however, forgetting is not always possible for those who have memories. When Peter asked Jesus whether he should forgive someone's transgression against him seven times, it was implied that he was forgiving and simultaneously keeping count. This leads to a somewhat disturbing thought – God has perfect knowledge, and knows every single one of our offenses, whether thought, word or action, from the moment we exited the womb. It is by His mercy and grace that just as I can put on pants and cover my scarred knee, God has covered our sins by the blood of Jesus, so that we can stand righteous before Him if we believe in Christ and claim him as our Lord and Savior. God does not forget as if He has too many things to do and cannot remember all the details; He simply does not count our sins against us when Christ's righteousness is imputed to us.
as far as the east if from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
(Psalm 103:12)
Blessed is the one
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the one
whose sin the Lord does not count against them
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
(Psalm 32:1-2)
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