A Matter of Confidence

"What did you find, Doctor?"

The mother was in her usual anxious self when I greeted her in the GI lab after her teen daughter's endoscopic procedures.  Jenna had been complaining of stomaches for years, and recently the pain got to the point where she stopped going to school.  She was getting depressed, not sleeping well, and also started to complain of headaches and pain all over the body.  Her recent laboratory test results were largely normal, and physical examination findings did not suggest the presence of any serious disease.  I was quite certain that Jenna had a "functional" disorder such as fibromyalgia.  These conditions mostly present with various types of pain and discomfort that are not due to infections, obvious inflammation, cancer or any disease that requires surgery, and test results are almost always negative.  I was quite reluctant to perform additional studies on her, but recently indicated that I would consider performing GI endoscopies on her if the results, which I expected to be normal, can provide the family reassurance that Jenna does not have any other serious disease.  She ended up getting both an esophagogastroduodenoscopy (scoping from the mouth) and a colonoscopy (scoping from the rear end).

"Jenna handled the procedures pretty well.  Here's a copy of the photographs that I took inside her."  I handed the mother the endoscopy pictures, and did my best to explain the findings.  "This picture is from the first part of the small intestine...this one from the stomach looking toward the intestine...from the stomach looking up toward the esophagus...from the lower part of the esophagus...from the area of the large intestine next to the appendix...the rest of the large intestine...rectum...."  I paused for a moment.

"Basically all the parts of the digestive tract that were visible on endoscopy were completely normal.  Jenna does not have ulcers, does not have infections inside her stomach, does not have bleeding, does not have polyps...does not have cancer.  I hope that you take this as good news, and the negative findings were basically what I expected before going into the procedure."

"You're sure that the tests were negative?"  Jenna's mother asked, staring blankly while her daughter, still under the influence of sedative medications, giggled unintelligibly in the gurney beside her.

"I've learned in medicine never to actually say 'never' or 'always', but I'm as certain about this as I possibly can be.  I did take some biopsies during the procedures, and the results should be available next week to further confirm that Jenna does not have a serious organic disease."

My confidence in what I said was based on what I learned in medical school, in my residency training, in my pediatric gastroenterology fellowship, in my work experience, in books, in journals, in discussions with families, colleagues and mentors, and in attending numerous national medical conferences.  The only thing that would further increase my confidence would be if God actually told me that it was so.  Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised if the mother wanted a second opinion.

Is there anything in which I can have true confidence?  Being one who has lived under God's grace as a Christian for many years, I have full assurance of my salvation.  Jesus said,

"All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.  For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.  And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day.  For it is my Father's will that all who see his Son and believe in him should have eternal life.  I will raise them up at the last day."  (John 6:37-40)

The first of two diagnostic questions that are taught in Evangelism Explosion training is, "Have you reached the point in your spiritual life where you know for certain that if you were to die tonight you would go to heaven?"

My answer is yes.  I'm even more certain of it than I am of Jenna not having cancer.

Scooter the Pruner

I was never fond of eggplants, or aubergines.  In fact, it is the only vegetable that I actually dislike, but it wasn't for lack of trying.  After weeks of overexposure to weekend television gardening and cooking shows with my lovely wife early in our marriage, I somehow drove home one evening with some bell pepper seedlings and a potted Japanese eggplant.  I guess the Frugal Gourmet must have subliminally suggested against my better judgment while I was at the garden shop that a properly prepared eggplant parmigiana could actually be quite tasty.  Being a neophyte gardener, I didn't actually seriously believe that the seedlings would survive under my hands anyway, so chances were that there wouldn't be any eggplants on the dinner table.

I was almost correct.

Scooter, our rambunctious Labrador mix, was furiously yapping with excitement when I brought the seedlings into the backyard garden.  After sternly warning her to stay away from the plants, I carefully dug well-spaced holes in a plot next to the garage, added planting mix, plopped the seedlings in place, watered, and warned Scooter again to stay away from the plants.  "Scooter, you can run circles around them.  You can even pee and poop next to them.  But if you try to pull them out...grrrr!"  I scowled and bared my teeth, thinking that she got the message.

The verbal deterrent lasted about 20 minutes.  The bell peppers escaped injury, but the entire Japanese eggplant seedling was bitten off just above soil level, leaving only a frayed stump behind.  I didn't think that it stood a chance, but watered it a bit more, and left it alone.  On subsequent days, what remained of the eggplant seedling sprang to life, sprouted out multiple branches, and within a few weeks became a sprawling, fruit-bearing monstrosity.  We had enough Japanese eggplants to feed an entire village.  We gave them to our friends, and I'm sure that our friends gave them to their friends.  It turned out that while Scooter nearly committed auberginocide, she actually pruned the eggplant and caused it be more productive than otherwise possible.  The bell pepper plants remained unscathed and did well, but their production paled in comparison.


"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."  Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher and atheist


"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.  Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.  (John 15:1-2)

It is comforting to know that God is in charge of our lives when we experience hardships and circumstances that are beyond our control.  It sure beats the alternative of atheists being fortified by near-death experiences.

By the way, I still am not crazy about eggplants.

Snowplay at Weed

"Daddy, can we play in the snow a little longer?"

It was a cold December afternoon during a family road trip to Portland, Oregon.  My children were only five and seven years of age, and growing up in the Los Angeles area, the only snow that they had played in so far was the machine-made stuff at local winter carnivals.  There was only a couple of inches of packed snow on the ground, but this time the stuff was real, and the kids were busy pelting me with snowballs, building snowmen and lying on the ground making snow angels.  I reluctantly agreed that we'd stay a little longer.

My wife stood next to me, and seeing the snow-capped mountains, exclaimed how beautiful the scene was, and dashed off with the camera to take a better shot.  I admit that I was also drawn in by the splendor of the surroundings, and was thankful for incidentally finding this patch of snow-covered landscape.

Eventually it was time to leave, but the kids were having too much fun to get in the car.  I had to remind them that we still had a long way to drive that day, and that we couldn't spend the entire afternoon at a the freeway rest area.

Yes, a rest area.  Somehow, the roadside potties by Interstate 5 near the California/Oregon border became a major winter vacation destination.  We pulled the car into the rest area at Weed, California, for a quick potty break.  It became a very long potty break, and we made sure that everyone had a chance to use the toilet a second time before we left for good.

Christians often describe our earthly existence as a journey, as we are reminded that there is a destination that is far more appealing than where we are right now:

These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.  For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland.  If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return.  But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one.  Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.  (Hebrews 11:13-16)

Jesus said to his disciples during his last supper with them:

"Let not your hearts be troubled.  Believe in God; believe also in me.  In my Father's house are many rooms.  If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also."  (John 14:1-3)

None of us will live forever in this life.  Some experience journeys of suffering and torment, and wish that their days are shortened.  Others' lives are full of earthly pleasures and success that they loathe the notion of ever departing from them.  Nevertheless, the journey will continue, and for those who call Jesus as Lord and Savior, our destination is far greater than Portland in December.