Cat's Eyes

I never knew that I like cats until Pepper came into our family. Pepper is a lightly striped silver-gray Siamese mix who almost didn't survive his kitten-hood. Weighing in at a mere four ounces at discovery and abandoned in a friend's yard by his mother, he probably was the runt of the litter, and his survival was assured only after many hours of feedings, care and several visits to the veterinarian. Given his early challenges, it was quite gratifying to see Pepper grow and mature over the years, and my fondness for him also increased with time. Even our family dog does not seem to mind having him as a playmate.

If I have to describe Pepper with only one word, it is that he seems to be EVERYWHERE. He can be seen inside shoe boxes, on the mantle, in the closet, on the family piano (playing some sort of Arnold Schoenberg piece, I think), on my son's guitar, sleeping with the dog in my bed, climbing the ladder, and often on my pile of freshly washed, pure polyester running shirts and shorts. Cat hair in my underwear and on the toaster oven? It's all part of having Pepper in the family.

Pepper's seeming ubiquity can be downright unnerving at times. He is often the first thing I see in the bedroom when I roll out of bed, as if he'd been waiting for me. He would also casually appear in front of me as I use the restroom, take a shower, make coffee, change my clothes, or just walk down the hallway, over and over again. He kind of reminds me of how God is depicted in movies like Evan Almighty, where He would simply show up out of nowhere and say something freaky like “I knew you would be here”. I feel as if Pepper is watching my every move. Actually, as I am writing this, the cat is sniffing my toes...hope it doesn't mean that I accidentally stepped on dog poop.

Although Pepper seems to be keeping his eyes on me, I realize that he is only a cat, and whatever he sees, however private, is totally harmless. However, I would surely be a bit uncomfortable if Pepper's eyes are replaced by those of a human being or a spy camera, as they might ruin my reputation and reveal my character.

“Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.” (Jackson Browne)

While we often behave as if we are not being watched, the Bible indicates that God knows our every thought and every move before it even happens. The cat may be watching, but God has perfect knowledge. The cat may seem to be everywhere...God actually is.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

(Psalm 139:7-12)

May we live each moment of our earthly existence realizing that God sees all, knows all, and is ever present with us. May we also thank Him daily for grace and mercy when we act as if He is not there.

A Ready Answer

I get asked a bunch of questions throughout the day. As a pediatric gastroenterologist, questions from patients and their parents are typically related to digestive concerns:

“Why is my son constipated?”

“My daughter's been having stomachaches for 5 years. Can she have cancer?”

“Where did I get this intestinal infection from?”

Providing answers to such questions is well within my level of expertise, and I can usually respond readily and with confidence.

Sometimes the questions have nothing to do with digestion, but are asked anyways just because I'm a doctor:

“Why do my left knee and hip hurt after running cross-country?”

“My son fainted during soccer practice yesterday, and tests from the emergency room came back negative. What do you think happened?”

“What do you think about acupuncture for my daughter's migraine?”

In such cases, I may need to summon memories from my general medical training, general pediatrics experience, personal encounters while training for marathons, and even stuff that I read on the Internet. I am usually not afraid to give an answer, and occasionally I would include “I don't know” as a response. I find that years of experience as a medical professional has only caused me to acknowledge more readily that I do not know everything, and I am rarely embarrassed by such deficiency in knowledge. Recognition of such deficiencies also would spur me to research for answers, resulting in much personal enrichment and satisfaction.

We all face questions regardless of our niche in society or station in life. It matters little whether we are teachers, receptionists, accountants, employers, employees, parents or gardeners, as each of us have been entrusted with unique insight, experience and knowledge that others find valuable. As Christians, we are seen as “God experts”, and thus should expect questions and challenges from others, whether they be borne of sincerity, cynicism or malice:

“If God is all-powerful and all-loving, why is there evil in the world?”

“Why can't I go to heaven by believing in another religion?”

“Where in the Bible does it say that abortion is wrong?”

“Why does Jesus have to die for my sins?”

“How do you know that the Bible is the word of God?”

“Doesn't science prove that we don't need God?”

Just as I am not ashamed to say “I don't know” when confronted with a difficult medical question, but be ready to seek the answer myself, I also should not be afraid to admit when a satisfactory answer to one of the above questions is not readily available. I should also be eager and bold to seek the answer myself, for God is the fountainhead of all knowledge.

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” (1 Peter 3:15-16)

Moving with Purpose

I stepped into the shallow end of the gym's 25 meter lap pool with trepidation, as I looked down the other lanes and saw two swimmers gracefully cutting back and forth across the water. Their forms were beautiful whether they were doing the freestyle crawl, the breaststroke or the backstroke, and as I admired them I also hoped that they would pay no attention to me as I readied myself for my swim. Unlike these gym regulars, I had not swam more than a length of a neighbor's backyard swimming pool for more than 35 years, as my only swim lessons consisted of only one or two weeks during my grade school days in Taiwan. Twenty five meters – I wasn't even sure that I could stay afloat long enough to make it across the pool. After the other swimmers were clear toward the opposite end of the pool, I put my head down, kicked off the wall, and for the next minute or so found myself wildly flapping my arms, furiously kicking, scrambling for breath when not choking and gulping water, and generally making slow progress. The first 25 meter swim of my life ended with me hanging on to the edge of the pool coughing, wheezing, and with my chest heaving as if I just broke the world record in the 100-meter dash. It was not a pretty sight. Fortunately, the other swimmers at least acted as if they weren't paying attention to me. They've probably seen my kind before.

It took little time for me to realize that swimming is very different from, and a lot harder than running. Road racing, whether it be a 5K run/walk or a marathon, is the most democratic of all sports, as anyone who is able to put one foot in front of the other can participate. It doesn't matter whether you are fast, slow, have beautiful form, limp, wheeze, or have only one leg (yes, I have been beaten in a marathon by a woman with a prosthetic leg...long story); virtually anyone can join such a race and cross the finish line with arms proudly held high. You can even run dressed as a mascot, in an Elvis outfit, while juggling, or even backwards. Having good technique and form would make you faster, but it isn't entirely necessary. On the other hand, swimming is all about technique. After several sessions of titanic struggles against the liquid element, it became clear that if I am to move in the water with purpose and direction, I have to point my head a certain way, breathe a certain way, move my arms a certain way, bend my elbows at a specific angle, push and pull the water with my upper extremities in a certain direction, and kick with the proper motion. Every movement has a purpose, whether to propel me in the right direction or to reduce resistance and drag, ultimately so that I can make it to the end of the pool.

A Christian's sojourn on earth is very much like swimming. Becoming a Christian and receiving the assurance of salvation is not the end of the journey; it is only the beginning. From this point on, we are called to manifest the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), endure suffering and trials “...so that you may become mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:4), “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12), and to “go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). We don't do this in order to be saved, but our actions are evidence of our changed nature. Every moment of our lives is to have the ultimate purpose to glorifying God, and a crown of glory awaits us at the end our our journey.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

When we are distracted by self-centeredness and worldly cares, we are flapping our arms aimlessly in the water, and exhaust ourselves without making progress. May we move with purpose.

Bruises and Scars

Whack! I was peddling up the steep hill with all my might as a loud snapping noise interrupted my cadence and brought the bike to a standstill. Maybe it wasn't that great an idea to ride my son's old BMX bike with my daughter and her Girl Scouts for their 7-mile bike-a-thon from Temple City to the Santa Fe Dam Recreational Area. Esther was really excited about the event, and the scout leader was asking for some parents to join the ride – how could I resist? The problem was that we only had two kiddie bikes in the garage – my son's little blue-and-white fixed-gear BMX thingy, and a pink 6-gear bicycle that's designed for an 8 year old's body. Perhaps I'd have done better with 6 gears, but I wasn't going to be caught riding a pink bicycle. My body and the ride was a bit much for the bike, as the bicycle's wheels abruptly locked up once, and the chain fell off the sprocket twice before I managed to complete the ride. I also banged up my right knee at some point, and felt a small tender bump just inside the kneecap. It wasn't all that painful, and I soon forgot about the bruise.

As it turned out, it wasn't a small bruise. The little bump grew into a purple, softball-sized monstrosity the next day, and would remain visible for the next couple of weeks before fading. Fortunately, bruises usually heal completely over time, and leave no traces. Scars, on the other hand, tend to remain visible for years. Being a somewhat clumsy runner, I have tripped and fallen a few times en route to collecting several nasty scrapes and cuts, which have turned into a thick scar on my right knee that has the appearance of a misplaced hemorrhoid. Unlike the overlying, temporary bruise, this scar is permanent.

Just as we can be harmed by physical trauma, our words and actions can also cause harm to one's mind and spirit. I have certainly done and spoken things that have upset many people, and many have done the same to me in return. Fortunately, most of these left only bruises that were ugly for a moment, but caused little damage to relationships. I have also been on both the giving and receiving end of deep, penetrating wounds that left scars. One of my ugliest scar was the result of some relatively innocent but unthoughtful words and action from a good friend many years ago, which still continues to arouse deep discomfort within me if I choose to think about it. It wasn't that amends weren't made or that I refused to forgive – in fact, the person apologized as soon as the error was recognized, and I believe that I truly had forgiven the offense in my heart. Nevertheless, some things cannot be easily forgotten.

“Forgive and forget” is a common advice that we hear and give; however, forgetting is not always possible for those who have memories. When Peter asked Jesus whether he should forgive someone's transgression against him seven times, it was implied that he was forgiving and simultaneously keeping count. This leads to a somewhat disturbing thought – God has perfect knowledge, and knows every single one of our offenses, whether thought, word or action, from the moment we exited the womb. It is by His mercy and grace that just as I can put on pants and cover my scarred knee, God has covered our sins by the blood of Jesus, so that we can stand righteous before Him if we believe in Christ and claim him as our Lord and Savior. God does not forget as if He has too many things to do and cannot remember all the details; He simply does not count our sins against us when Christ's righteousness is imputed to us.

as far as the east if from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

(Psalm 103:12)

Blessed is the one

whose transgressions are forgiven,

whose sins are covered.

Blessed is the one

whose sin the Lord does not count against them

and in whose spirit is no deceit.

(Psalm 32:1-2)

Great Cake! Whose Birthday?

One of the little perks of working in a large clinic is that we get to celebrate at least one person's birthday each month of the year. These monthly rituals of celebration tend to be quite festive, often with Mexican-style spreads in one of the lounge/break rooms beckoning us to finish our morning clinics early so that the party can begin. As we eat, we marvel at the culinary prowess of those who provided the tasty vittles, and loudly complain about how difficult it is to work in the afternoons with such full stomachs, while simultaneously greedily shoving taquitos and chips down the throat. The highlight of the party, however, is the dessert – often a large chocolate cheesecake, dulce de leche cake, ice cream, or other dairy delights, a fitting finish for someone like me who is notoriously lactose intolerant. Yes, a large slice sounds good. Eat now, pay later....

While most of these birthday celebrations are announced well in advance, I don't always pay attention to the notices, and sometimes realize only as lunchtime approaches that something is going on, with distinct aromas of a potluck lunch wafting from the corner room and nurses inviting me to join in the festivities. I am embarrassed to say that I often do not know whose birthdays are being celebrated, and occasionally, the birthday girls (being a pediatrics clinic with mostly female receptionists, medical assistants, nurses, pharmacists and pediatricians, I am often the only male member of the entire staff) may not even be there for the celebration. No matter, as the food is still good.

Just as we sometimes party on in someone's honor without actually knowing whom we are honoring or whether the person is even in the room, it is also possible to go to church and celebrate the Lord's day without actually paying notice to God. We may enjoy meeting friends, discuss personal triumphs and challenges, break down details of the most recent USC football game, listen to good music, participate in singing, watch polished multimedia presentations, hear quotes from famous writers and experts in popular psychology and culture, listen to energetic preaching, and even take a short, refreshing nap during the sermon (I am unfortunately guilty of the latter), but exclude God from our minds, hearts and spirits. We certainly don't intend to neglect God; we simply forget to pay attention.

Jesus' words in the book of Revelation,

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” (Revelation 3:20)

is not a calling for unbelievers to open their heart's doors in order to receive Jesus as lord and savior of their lives. Instead, Jesus was addressing believers, i.e., Christians, who were gathered at the church in Laodicea. Jesus accused the church in Laodicea as being neither hot nor cold, but lukewarm. Was Jesus indicating that these Christians were gathering and doing Christian stuff, without remembering that they were bearing the name of Christ, and somehow literally left Jesus out of their conversations, thoughts and hearts?

Instead, we are called in Deuteronomy 6:5 to love the LORD “with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” When we gather in Jesus' name, may every word that we speak, may our every thought and our every action be with the intention of giving Him glory and honor alone.

OEM Parts and the Bible

“Now, this picture shows an OEM (original equipment manufacturer) front bumper for the vehicle. For comparison, here is an after-market part, which at first glance looks like the OEM part, but is much cheaper. However, a detailed comparison will show that the OEM part also has a much higher density, is made of a different material, and weighs considerably more than the after-market part. The OEM product also has these reinforcing ribs....”

Bob, a longstanding member of our church and senior manager for a major automotive company, was invited to give a talk about automobiles, and it took little time for him to dive into his particular area of expertise. He convincingly demonstrated that there are certain parts of the automobile that should not be replaced with cheaper, after-market products because the inferior quality and specifications of these may prove costly in the long run, particularly in case of accidents, when these parts play critical roles in protecting the vehicle occupants. In case anyone remained unconvinced, Bob concluded this part of his talk by producing videos of low-speed front end crash tests comparing OEM and after-market bumpers. The OEM bumper temporarily deformed to absorb the crash impact, but remained intact, recoiled back to its initial appearance, and would have fully protected the vehicle. On the other hand, the after-market bumper shattered into small pieces upon impact, and would have resulted in expensive damage to the vehicle and possible injury to the occupants. Another concern that was not immediately apparent in the video demonstration is that the vehicle's air bags are synchronized with impact sensors to discharge at precise moments in a crash, thus altering the bumper may potentially cause the air bag to fill at the wrong time and cause additional injury.

It is human nature to tinker with things to suit our own needs. Sometimes the alterations are quite trivial, such as a new skin for a mobile phone or laptop, or decals and racing stripes for a brand new Hyundai or Chevy. I unfortunately learned that other changes are associated with more serious consequences, as my notebook computer recently sputtered and ground to a halt after I tried to install an incompatible anti-virus suite. Thankfully, I was able to bring my computer back to life using the system restore utility, and eventually acquiesced to staying with the pre-installed software.

In the same way, we also have the innate tendency to tinker with God's word. Sometimes we try to enhance it with verses that do not exist. The saying, “God only helps those who help themselves” is completely inconsistent with biblical teaching, and cannot be found in the Bible; however, it has been quoted so commonly that even some who profess to be Christians think that Jesus said it. Other times we remove parts of God's word, at least in our minds, and replace them with modifications to suit our own concept of God. Some deny the presence of miracles, and claim them to be either inauthentic or misunderstood. For example, they may claim that Jesus didn't really feed the five thousand – he simply gave a rousing sermon using the boy with his five loaves and two fish, and those in the crowd who brought food were moved to share with those who did not, so everyone had something to eat. Muslims categorically deny that Jesus died on the cross, because they believe that Allah would never allow one of his prophets to die such an undignified death.

By tinkering with God's word and building a “new and improved” god who is loving, but stripped of sovereignty, power, knowledge and justice, those who do so are also counting on this “after-market” god to carry them through life's difficulties, only to learn that it shatters upon impact when crashes in life inevitably happen. Instead of everlasting joy, transcendent peace, perseverance through trials, intimacy with God, and compassion for those in need, they cry, “How can a loving God allow evil and suffering to happen? Why are my prayers not answered when I pray for God to heal my child's cancer? Why did my business fail when I asked God to bless my work? I cannot believe in a God who is unfair....”

Are there any “after-market” parts in my understanding of God? The answer lies in studying God's word, desiring its truth, and not inclining to replace it with ideas that seem more palatable to my own nature.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. (2 Timothy 2:15)