Scooter the Pruner

I was never fond of eggplants, or aubergines.  In fact, it is the only vegetable that I actually dislike, but it wasn't for lack of trying.  After weeks of overexposure to weekend television gardening and cooking shows with my lovely wife early in our marriage, I somehow drove home one evening with some bell pepper seedlings and a potted Japanese eggplant.  I guess the Frugal Gourmet must have subliminally suggested against my better judgment while I was at the garden shop that a properly prepared eggplant parmigiana could actually be quite tasty.  Being a neophyte gardener, I didn't actually seriously believe that the seedlings would survive under my hands anyway, so chances were that there wouldn't be any eggplants on the dinner table.

I was almost correct.

Scooter, our rambunctious Labrador mix, was furiously yapping with excitement when I brought the seedlings into the backyard garden.  After sternly warning her to stay away from the plants, I carefully dug well-spaced holes in a plot next to the garage, added planting mix, plopped the seedlings in place, watered, and warned Scooter again to stay away from the plants.  "Scooter, you can run circles around them.  You can even pee and poop next to them.  But if you try to pull them out...grrrr!"  I scowled and bared my teeth, thinking that she got the message.

The verbal deterrent lasted about 20 minutes.  The bell peppers escaped injury, but the entire Japanese eggplant seedling was bitten off just above soil level, leaving only a frayed stump behind.  I didn't think that it stood a chance, but watered it a bit more, and left it alone.  On subsequent days, what remained of the eggplant seedling sprang to life, sprouted out multiple branches, and within a few weeks became a sprawling, fruit-bearing monstrosity.  We had enough Japanese eggplants to feed an entire village.  We gave them to our friends, and I'm sure that our friends gave them to their friends.  It turned out that while Scooter nearly committed auberginocide, she actually pruned the eggplant and caused it be more productive than otherwise possible.  The bell pepper plants remained unscathed and did well, but their production paled in comparison.


"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."  Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher and atheist


"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.  Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.  (John 15:1-2)

It is comforting to know that God is in charge of our lives when we experience hardships and circumstances that are beyond our control.  It sure beats the alternative of atheists being fortified by near-death experiences.

By the way, I still am not crazy about eggplants.