Medical Malpractice

"So, Doctor, you were well-trained and well-qualified to provide the care, you knew about potential complications with this procedure, and you knew what ought to be done to rule out such complications...why did you not do it?"

"I...had a lapse in judgment."

Those six fateful words still ring in my head years after the deposition I had to give in response to a lawsuit against me. A child with complex medical problems died a day after I performed a procedure on him in the emergency room. One of the hardest things to do is to admit that I made a mistake. What made the admission even more painful was the recognition that the error would soon become a part of my public record, and that several of my colleagues and mentors had already known the details of the case. While a couple of medical experts provided opinions in my defense, others harshly criticized my actions and declared me as being negligent and clearly responsible for the child's death. A couple of these medical experts knew me personally, and I was sure that gossips and rumors about my failings would soon spread throughout the medical community. I would have to declare details of the lawsuit whenever I renewed my medical staff privileges for several years. I no longer had an impeccable reputation, and had joined the ranks of doctors who were ravaged by the agony of medical malpractice judgments. I felt exposed, naked and ashamed, and my confidence as a physician was shattered...

...temporarily.

Over the years, I have continued to perform the same procedure more than a hundred times, and have become the recognized expert in it among several of my peers. The unfortunate mistake early in my professional career made me a better doctor, and the experience enabled me to subsequently safely navigate through many challenging procedures. I no longer need to protect an unblemished record, and am only concerned with trying to be the best doctor possible. I am thankful that God does not abandon people who make mistakes.

As painful as my medical-legal encounter was, it was nothing compared to what the apostle Peter went through. While he was a leader among Jesus' disciples, he also committed the atrocious act of openly denying Jesus prior to the crucifixion. Imagine the shame and guilt he must have felt, especially in the presence of the other disciples and before the risen Christ! Yet, Jesus reinstated Peter at the shore of Galilee (John 21), and he spent his remaining years being a pillar of the church. Surely Peter remembered throughout the years the very words he uttered in denying Jesus. However, those words of denial were overshadowed by Jesus' commands,

"Feed my lambs."

"Take care of my sheep."

"Feed my sheep."

As the deposition ended, the plaintiff's attorney collected her files, looked at me intently, and said something that I didn't expect:

"You're going to be a great doctor."

Her voice choked a bit, and I saw a shimmering reflection of what appeared to be tears in her eyes.

I knew that things were going to be different from that point on.