The End of the Roadhouse

Sunday mornings, for many years, meant going out to breakfast with my children.  I would wake them up at dawn, and within minutes we were on our way, on foot, to one of the local coffee shops or bakeries for our weekly treat.  The kids got a free meal out of me, I got to spend quality time with them, and my wife got to sleep in by herself - it was a good deal for everyone involved.  I suggested one morning that we walk to Roadhouse Coffee Stop, a local breakfast institution in town for many years.  It served excellent, fresh coffee, and the pastries, when dining in, were served piping hot with extra butter.  The owner, who was getting on a bit in his years, was well known to the locals, and his employees were uniformly friendly and personable.  The food was a bit more costly than the competition, so I only visited the shop on special occasions.

The special occasion in this instance was that I had a coupon for a free cup of coffee.  I received the coupon several months previously from Rachel, an attractive young lady with heavily tattooed arms that glistened with color when she poured the coffee.  Not recalling ever seeing me before, she offered me the coupon, with my name and her name written on it, to encourage my patronage.

"Come anytime.  My treat.  There's no expiration date."

It seemed like a good deal.  I saved the coupon, knowing that I'd cash in some day when the coffee bug would bite me.  This was going to be my lucky day, as I pulled out the coupon just across the street from the shop.

We eagerly approached, only to see that Roadhouse Coffee Stop closed...permanently.  The owner decided to retire, and closed the business a few days beforehand.  Disappointed, I stuck my now worthless coupon in my pocket as a souvenir, as we joined some of the old Roadhouse regulars at the local Starbucks.

We tend to hoard things that seem to be of much value in this life.  These may be cash, retirement funds, the newest electronic gadgets, cars, expensive food, entertainment, and even reputation.  We treat them as our keys to happiness, and spend much time not only acquiring them, but also worrying about them and protecting them, not thinking that they will be of no value when we reach the end of our lives.  Knowing our hearts, Jesus reminded us to reset our priorities,

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)

May we focus our energies on loving and enjoying God.  The value of this will never expire.

Backseat Sojourner

“Glenn, there’s a big problem.  I need to talk to you.”

My eyelids were heavy as my wife, Karen, called me, while she remained transfixed on the computer screen.  She had been working on our upcoming vacation plan for days.

“I read all the online reviews about this place, and they highly recommend this hike, which will take a couple of hours.  But, we only have two days there, and we also have to go to the lake for the sunset, and I heard that the boat ride is good, but it’s expensive, and I can’t decide whether to do the boat ride or the horseback riding, and if we do this on the second day, you’ll have to drive two hours at night in the dark, but the boat does not run on the first day…what do you think?”

I can’t remember what I said…probably something along the lines of, “Whatever you think is best, Honey.  I trust your judgment.  It doesn’t really matter anymore what we end up doing, I’ll make sure that I enjoy it no matter what.”

Karen is often described as one who is very high in “uncertainty avoidance.”  When she wants to visit a new place, she would read reviews on multiple web sites regarding what are the best attractions there, and then research every single option in painstaking detail.  She would weigh the pluses and minuses of every conceivable option to the point of exhaustion,  make a choice, and then rescind her choice as soon as she finds out more information that was overlooked, to start the process all over again.  I often wonder how much more time she spends preparing for a trip than actually taking the trip itself.  I used to be the one who planned our family vacations, but eventually chose to take the wise path, and allowed my wife to do the work instead, as she found my lack of attention to detail in these matters intolerable.

The result of such meticulous planning is that our vacation experience tends to be, more or less, exactly what Karen planned.  The trips were wonderful, but the process of getting there seemed anything but.

This picture of a family vacation seemed in stark contrast to my memories of family travels as a young child.  My parents would put my brother and me in the back seat of the car, and our journeys would start with me knowing very little about where we were going.  We would have picnics on the grass, stop for restroom breaks while my dad paid for gas at the service station, eat pancakes for dinner, go to museums, play at the park, pose for pictures, and listen to my dad explain something that made him sound very smart and me feel very proud of having a smart dad.  I had a rough idea of what we were doing and seeing, but I did not have to worry about the trips, and I had a wonderful time.  I’m sure that my parents spent plenty of hours planning these vacations, but it was none of my concern.  I was a backseat sojourner.

We often approach life in the same way that some of us do vacations, in that we try to plan for everything, including details on what school we want to attend, the kind of person we want to marry, at precisely what age we want to have children and how many, what kind of job we want and how much money we want to make, how many years we want to work and where we want to spend our golden years.  If we could, we would have planned the same for our children as well.  We view our lives with the delusion that we are in control, not realizing that our very breath is utterly dependent on God.  We act like children in the back seat of the car, pretending to be holding the steering wheel and making the car move.  Unfortunately, we then become angry, anxious and/or fearful when life eventually goes off-course, and our lives become unraveled because things somehow don’t go as planned.  We forget that only God is truly in control of our destiny:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.  Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”  As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.  (James 4:13-16)

May we embrace God’s wisdom for our lives, and trust in His sense of direction.  There is joy and adventure in being a backseat sojourner.

Collector of Good Vibrations?

Kaitlin was a most challenging patient.  I diagnosed her with inflammatory bowel disease when she was only a child, and her condition never seemed to be under control with medications, despite me trying her with multiple treatment options.  Kaitlin had an attractive smile, but her face always seemed pale from anemia, and she was malnourished.  Her disease prevented her intestines from absorbing nutrients properly, and because she constantly had nausea, stomachaches and diarrhea, she was afraid to eat.  I worried that her intestines might not be able to properly absorb the medications that I prescribed, and ordered a laboratory test to measure her drug level.  It was undetectable, and I eventually confirmed through Kaitlin’s confession that she had not taken any of her pills, because she developed a psychological fear of taking any form of medication.  By the time she entered high school, Kaitlin’s symptoms often seemed to provide sufficient reason for her mother to keep her home from school, and her numerous school absences soon alerted the school administrator to call the local police to investigate the family.  To make matters worse, her parents’ marriage disintegrated, and her father ended up in jail shortly afterwards.

Things were definitely not looking up.

I spent many hours working with Kaitlin and her mother, and am thankful that she eventually responded somewhat to a treatment regimen (it was a medication that the nurses had to give intravenously in the clinic, so that we did not have to worry about her not taking her medication).  We developed sufficient familiarity with each other over the years that the mother started to share with me various concerns, many of which I was unable to help directly.  During one of these conversations, I asked the mother’s permission to pray for her, as I did not know whether she was a Christian.

“Oh, that is so nice of you, Dr. Duh.  Sure, I am always happy to have positive healing energy sent my way from people of different faiths.”

I did pray for her, but was also a bit dumbfounded by her response.  Sending positive healing energy?  I knew how to send a prescription to the pharmacy, and I’ve sent many letters.  I’ve even sent flowers to my wife, but I’ve never knowingly sent energy before.  Was I supposed to call the post office?  FedEx?  UPS?  How is this positive energy supposed to be packaged, in a box?  Bubble wrap?

Praying for a person is not the same thing as sending him or her positive thoughts or healing thoughts.  When I pray, I am praying to God, the sovereign Creator of the universe, who can do all things.  My thoughts have no power, and my prayers are useless if they are not directed to God.  If I say that I am sending healing thoughts, positive thoughts, positive vibrations, healing energy, or even “prayers” to a person, I am presuming that I can harness divine forces, even control and manipulate God to do what I want, in the same way that we harness wind and solar power.  May this never be!  God is the source of all our existence, visible or invisible, and He is not amused when we presume to take His place or find a substitute:

“‘See now that I, even I, am he,
and there is no god beside me;
I kill and I make alive;
I wound and I heal;
and there is none that can deliver out of my hand.  (Deuteronomy 32:39)

I am the LORD, and there is no other,
besides me there is no God;
I equip you, though you do not know me,
that people may know, from the rising of the sun
and from the west, that there is none besides me;
I am the LORD, and there is no other.  (Isaiah 45:5-6)

  remember the former things of old;
for I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me, (Isaiah 46:9)

I will not send healing thoughts to a person.  I will instead pray to God, the Healer, whose thoughts have more power than anything that fallen mankind can conjure.

What's the Catch?

“Good afternoon, sir!  Would you like a free can of soda or bottle of water?”

The young man looked at me incredulously as I waved at him, standing beside a large cooler with a can of soda in my hand.

“What?  You’re giving it out for free?  What’s the catch?”

“Oh, no catch at all.  It’s a hot summer afternoon, and some of us at our church just want to show God’s love by giving out cold drinks.  Would you like one?”

The man wasn’t too easily convinced, but he eventually walked off with a can of soda, a little confused, and surprised that I didn’t try to talk to him about Jesus or ask for money.

This happened many years ago during the summer, when I attended a church retreat near San Diego, California.  The speaker exhorted us to show love and compassion for our community through service, and as an exercise, he led us to a busy shopping center, with cold drinks in tow, ready to be given out to thirsty shoppers.  The beverage containers were attached with small tags written with Bible verses and words of blessing, but we were informed to simply give the drinks away, without any condition.  Some of the shoppers happily took the drinks, but many others were much more skeptical, and a few even insisted in giving us tips or donations, which we politely declined.  We couldn’t possibly be just giving the drinks away, right?

We have long been taught to believe the expression, “there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch”.  In other words, what seems free often has a cost attached to it.  This is often true in science (as in the laws of thermodynamics), in business, and in relationships.  I recently visited the local Dunkin’ Donuts store on National Donut Day (yes, there is a story behind this, celebrated on the first Friday of June in the United States), to see whether the store was giving away free donuts.  I came out with my free donut, but the donut was only free if I purchased a beverage, a cup of coffee that cost me $2.50.  Dunkin’ Donuts was going to get my money, one way or another.

This notion of “no free lunch” is often seen in our views of religion as well.  Many of us believe that in order to go to Heaven, we need to be good, and do good things.  We need to go to church, put money in the offering plate, not say bad words, and be nice to others, otherwise God will be unhappy with us and will send us to Hell.  However, while it is true that Christians indeed do all these things, eternal life in Heaven is actually free:

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  (Romans 6:23)

Going to church cannot save us, and doing good works won’t get us into Heaven.  Eternal life is a free gift – only God can give it, and we are asked to receive it.  Changes that happen to those of us who believe in Jesus is the consequence of our belief, not the condition for our faith.  We give in joy and in obedience because we have received first.  This gift of God is free, but it is not cheap.  Jesus already paid the price for it with His blood.

Well-Watered Hillsides

California is nicknamed The Golden State, apparently for multiple reasons.  The golden poppy is the official state flower, the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is instantly recognizable worldwide, and there was a gold rush here in 1849.  While never actually confirmed, I was once told that California was also called the Golden State because much of the land looks yellow most of the year, colored by the dried up vegetation that covers the landscape.  Having lived in Southern California, where it often does not rain for 6 straight months or more, the images of yellow, tinder-covered foothills that get set ablaze during the hot summer months are all too familiar, especially during the most recent period of extended drought that lasted from 2011 to 2017.  The drought in California was eventually declared over in early 2017, thanks to torrents of heavy winter precipitation, and this brought forth the most unusual transformation to the Southern California landscape.  The dried yellow-brown hillsides have been replaced with carpets of green, awash with beautiful wildflowers in various shades of yellow, orange, white and purple.  My daughter and I have taken literally thousands of photographs at local state parks, nature trails and flower fields.

However, I know that this transformation of color is short-lived.  There hasn’t been much rain for the last 3 months.  The vegetation will be yellow again in a few weeks, and the late summer heat will bring forth blazing brushfires that will soon consume many hills until rain returns in the winter.

Just as the plants and flowers of the hills need rain to grow, our spiritual condition requires regular nourishment and watering as well.  When we feel far away from God, we often say that we are spiritually “dry”.  David expressed his longing for God as a consuming thirst for Him:

As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?  (Psalm 42:1-2)

We become spiritually dry when we are separated from God, our creator, and the source of meaning for our existence.  Nothing separates us from God quicker than unconfessed sin in our lives:

Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save,
or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
but your iniquities have made a separation
between you and your God,
and your sins have hidden his face from you
so that he does not hear.  (Isaiah 59:1-2)

On the other hand, he who walks in obedience to God’s ways are described as a well-watered tree:

Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.  (Psalm 1:1-3)

How are we doing?  Are we like well-watered plants, thriving, flowering and fruitful, or are we parched and lifeless?  We do well to examine ourselves to see whether sin is keeping spiritual nourishment from our lives.  If we continue to do what displeases God, even if we seem to thriving, it won’t be long before the soil beneath us dries up.

Separated But Not Disowned

"Lisa, how are your parents?  Are they in good health?"

My wife started the conversation with our friend while we were carpooling to a fundraising event recently.  We talked about her parents' strong Christian faith and service, which came as little surprise, as Lisa, a physician, is herself a strong believer who lives out her faith through her love for others.  Our conversations drifted to Lisa's plans to take a short-term medical missions trip to Mexico, but within minutes we were sharing stories about our own children, as parents are wont to do.  We talked about the challenges of raising children in a Christian family, and my wife asked Lisa about her own childhood, assuming that her parents were Christian during her youth.

"Actually, my parents were Muslims...and they were so strict in their religion they almost killed me when I accidentally ate a piece of pork...it tasted sooooo good!"

It turned out that Lisa became a Christian in an austere Muslim household.  Her parents were so upset at her conversion, they seriously considered disowning her.  Being disowned would mean that she would have lost all ties, physical, financial, and perhaps emotional, to her parents.  Thankfully, they relented, and by God's grace, whatever thread of connection that remained allowed Lisa to restore their relationship, and she eventually became the instrument of their salvation.

Similarly, when Adam and Eve sinned by eating the forbidden fruit, God could have disowned them completely.  Mankind could have been annihilated in an instant, and if somehow God allowed us to exist, we would have been eternally separated from God, to the point that we would have no connection with our Creator in any form.  Yet He chose to remain connected with us.  God had compassion on Adam and Eve, that He provided for them before they were driven from the Garden of Eden:

And the LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them. (Genesis 3:21)

Mankind became separated from God, but not disconnected.  In subsequent generations, Cain and Abel presented offerings to the Lord, Enoch walked with the Lord, Noah found favor with God, and God called Abraham to become the father of nations.  God did not disown mankind, but continued to intersect with our lives throughout the generations of His people, until at the appointed time, He sent Jesus to fully restore our relationship with Himself.  We get to return to our heavenly Father, never to be separated again.  The thread of connection is God's word:

but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.  (John 20:31)

Getting Stuck in Deep Sand

"Yeah, but I read that it's easy to get stuck in the sand, and that it's really hard to get out..."

I listened in as my wife chatted with one of the local residents, after having second thoughts about her wonderful plan for us to hit the Oceano sand dunes the next day.  She had already paid a sizable deposit to reserve ATV (all-terrain vehicle) rides for the family, but she also read about possible dangers of vehicles getting stuck in the sand, collisions, and rollovers.  We were all ATV novices, and had never driven in sand dunes before.

"Oh, you'll get stuck in the sand a few times, but it's no big deal.  You'll probably have to push and move the thing to get it out.  If you keep throttling the engine, you'll get deeper in the sand, but only stupid people do that."

OK, I got this covered.  I wouldn't do anything stupid, I thought.  Unfortunately, it didn't take long before I did exactly what I wasn't supposed to do the next day.

After we received our mandatory safety briefing and instructions, I sat on a Honda 250 cc ATV, barely remembering how to throttle, brake and shift.  I figured that as long as I didn't kill the engine, I would somehow return intact after our two-hour rides.  I tried to act confident as I steered the vehicle out of the lot and into the dunes.  All was well, for about one minute.

I started to feel my right rear tire losing traction.  Somehow my right side ended up in very soft sand, and it was a matter of seconds before I realized that I was stuck.  Naw, that couldn't possibly happen, not barely a few hundred meters into the sand!  Perhaps I wasn't really stuck, I thought.  I hit the throttle.  I felt the right rear tire sinking deeper in.  OK, I was stupid.

Dozens of other vehicles passed me as I got out of my ATV, looking and feeling, uh...what is that word?  Fortunately, that feeling was transient as I managed to lift the back of the vehicle out of the soft sand, and after repositioning it on firmer ground, I managed to power the thing clear of the sand pit.  All was well again...except that my daughter also ended up stuck in the sand.  This would be a learning experience.

Many of us also tend to "be stupid" when we are mired in the sand as we cross through treacherous dunes in our journeys through life.  The soft sand traps are our bad habits, addictions, and dysfunctional situations in our work, relationships, and families.  Unfortunately, because of our own sinful inclinations, we find ourselves often digging ourselves in deeper the harder we try to drive ourselves out.  Change can only happen when we admit that we are stuck, be willing to get out of the cockpit, and resolve to point our vehicles in a new direction.

We need to repent.  We need to turn away from sin, for it is written,

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  (Romans 6:23)

How do we turn away from sin and receive this free gift of God?  When Peter proclaimed the message of salvation to the multitudes, the first word he said was "repent":

And Peter said to them, "Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.  (Acts 2:38)

Hit the throttle.